** NOTE: All descriptions were taken from real women attending a real university**
May I preface this by saying at least 5 out of these 7 guys will drunkenly embrace you every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday… but completely ignore you soberly in class. At least 2 of these 7 guys will read these descriptions knowing exactly which category they are and feel proud for the not-so-kind words I used to describe them. Somewhere around 3 out of these 7 will think they fall no where in the mix and think “where do these girls find these guys?” I promise that these generic labels of guys all have their rules and their exceptions… the trick is to find the guy YOU’RE the exception to. And so it begins:
1. The “so college” frat bro:
You probably made out with him drunkenly one night. Maybe he put you on the list for the 80’s party you just couldn’t miss. Freshmen year he’s the coolest guy in the room. Sophomore year you’re kind of over it. And by the last two years typically he’s matured past the bro phase and is just the hardcore partier you love to have a good time with. You love to hate him and you hate to love him… But what would our campus be without him??
2. The egotistical athlete:
Sure, he’s hot.. He get’s all the girls.. He’s the star of the team.. But he’s a d*ck and no one takes him seriously. Yet, we still condone his behavior. Not today. I get the “bad boy” appeal and I get that it’s somewhat of a sense of accomplishment when you score him…but you’re just a number with this guy. The beauty in all this is chances are he’s not going pro and in 5 years no one will care about his 4 years of fame. Not to say he’s all bad, because a night with him can be a great time. The key is to get what you’re looking for and move on to the next one.
3. The sports fanatic:
He knows stats… he knows players… he can give you a play by play of each of the last decades Superbowls… but he hasn’t got a clue about how to get a girl. If he spent half as much time with a girl as he did sitting in front of a TV then maybe he’d get somewhere. He is pretty funny (at the expense of others)… but you can’t tell him because it’ll go straight to his head. TOTALLY dateable (if you only want to be heard on commercial breaks).
4. The “nice” guy who turns out to be worse than the athlete:
The silent killer. He is the absolute worst. You know this guy. You have a good time with this guy. And the second you open up just a little bit he slaps you square in the face (metaphorically of course). The only silver lining with him is typically his “nice” façade screws him over and he gets over looked. This one gets the heartbreaker award because he could probably have it all if he wasn’t so damn selfish.
5. The guy you want to date… but not until you’re thirty:
The future president of the United States… he’s driven. He’s smart. He’s sexy. But he’s too busy reading the Wall Street Journal and interning at Ernst & Young to take you out for a drink. He is the ideal CEO husband in your future. He’s “practical” but he’s not very much fun. If you’re thinking “I wish I met him in 10 years” … he’s not the guy for you.
6. The crunchy granola hippie who’s also weirdly pretentious:
I love this guy. Total character. Believes in free world equality but cant stand Greek life or sorority girls because “they’re obnoxious”… but hey, you’re not judging right? This guy is basically #1 the “so college” frat bro… but wearing Birkenstocks. An oxymoron at its finest.
7. The nice guy who you should date but don’t want to date because he’s too nice:
What does “too nice” even mean? What is wrong with us? Why do we constantly choose the bad boy over the man who brings us flowers and wants to make us laugh (Note: my use of “boy” and “man” right there). This guy is ultimate chick flick in 3D. He likes you. He wants to talk to you so he makes the effort. You don’t sit around waiting for your phone to ring hoping it’s a late night booty call from numbers 1-6. This guy makes the effort at all hours. He wants a chance and he deserves a chance but we constantly over look him. Why? Because we want one of the labels previously discussed in the article.
So here’s my big point ladies…why are we trying so hard to date these “images” when we really should be looking for a great person. Not to say that there aren’t exceptions to every type of guy I just talked about… But we should be more interested in the person behind the mask. Who cares if he’s the “cool guy” who cuts the bar line or the over-achiever in the front row of your Stats class who asks way too many questions. Find the PERSON.. not image.. that works for you. Find the person who makes you better, who you make better. We often think the overly nice guy who tries too hard with us probably has some hidden flaw we know nothing about. Well… you’ll never find out if you don’t give him a shot. I may have just literarily mutilated 85% of the males on our campus… but I’ll finish with this… a person does not become appealing because of who they hang out with, what sport they play, or what job they have lined up post-grad. A person becomes appealing because of how they treat other people. So if you find an egotistical athlete or a sports fanatic that treats you with the respect and dignity that you deserve? God bless you girl because you’re the exception. Run with it. Find your guy — but make sure you want him for the person and not the persona.