Starting off my second semester of freshman year, I can confidently say that my first semester of college was the most intense and quickly I have grown as a person. Although I have a lot of lessons I have learned and could reflect on, there was one consistent theme throughout: emotions will pass, perspective will stay.
Last semester, I had moments where I felt like the most independent, organized and happy version of myself. I was on top of the world and nothing could bring me down. I also had moments where I felt so overwhelmed, out of place and lonely that I was physically sick to my stomach. I felt these emotions and everything in between. Every emotion I was feeling was so strong and intensified that it felt infinite.
It is important to remember when feeling so strong of an emotion (even the positive ones) that it is temporary. I know this sounds morbid, but let me explain myself. There is a difference between emotions and perspective. I look at emotions as evidence-based, you are feeling happy because something good happened, you are feeling sad because something bad happened and you are feeling neutral because nothing happened. Perspective is a constant state of mind that one maintains throughout all events that happen in life. Perspective, if a good one, allows you the ability to feel the happy emotions, be grateful for the neutral ones, and stay positive in the not-so-happy ones.
At the beginning of last semester, I had no perspective. I was in a new place with new people and a new routine, I didn’t know what to think. I was just feeling my emotions as they came. My highs were high, but the lows were low. I think it is important to feel your emotions as they pass, but without perspective, it feels as though the passing part will never happen. Perspective allows us to feel what we are feeling, but reminds us that more days are coming. More days full of the happiness you’re feeling right now, or full of the happiness you’re lacking right now.
Creating a positive perspective can be difficult at first. It’s a change of thinking and that doesn’t come easy. It starts with the little things. Before going to bed, think of something positive about each day. Something as small as the dining hall serving cookies is something to be grateful for. After I started doing this, reflecting on my bad days wasn’t so horrible, and then eventually, the habit kicks in, and even experiencing the bad days isn’t so bad. It’s a gradual process, be patient with yourself but be consistent. I knew good things were happening even amongst all the bad. And when I have was having my great moments, I was even more so grateful for them.
Gaining this perspective made my first semester not only finishable, but enjoyable. Emotional regulation is a journey, one that I am nowhere near the end of. I am still learning and improving every day. Something I do know is that I am so beyond thankful for the experiences I had and the people I met so far this year. They taught me more about myself than I have ever learned before. The cliche that you learn who you truly are in college has proved itself right to me so far. I am so excited to continue my time at UNH, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the amazing moments I have left to experience here.