College and early-twenties are seen as this time to explore and find yourself. You are expected to date many different types of people and have different partners and sexual experiences. This expectation is seen from TV shows, movies, classmates and even friends close to you. Yet, it’s important to know that you do not have to fulfill this type of expectation until you want to or you are ready.
Recently, I had someone in my life shamed me for not being a relationship and not having sex. It was brought on from a conversation about birth control methods that my friend and I were talking about and she came in with an attitude that we don’t need to be talking about this because we aren’t currently having sex. In a strange way, it honestly hurt me like I wasn’t worthy of this conversation or information because I don’t have a sexual relationship with anyone at the moment. It made me feel like I wasn’t living my life to the fullest and missing out on something.
Even though this is something I am currently not experiencing in my college life, it does not mean I haven’t had the time of my life and discovered who I am. I have a great group of friends that I have built a solid relationship with. Intimacy can be experienced at different levels, and I don’t think hookup culture is for me.
This idea of hookup culture can be freeing and empowering to many people during this time, but it is not for everyone. This can be too much pressure on someone who is not ready or open. Personally, I found that I like deep, exclusive relationships with partners especially if I want to be intimate with them. Each person is allowed to make their own decisions with their own body so don’t shame them for their choices.
Having sex and not sex is an option that everyone has the right to do and at the end of the day it is nobody’s business. We have to respect people’s choices.
Don’t let anyone shame you for what you want to during this time in your life. Be free and open to all opportunities while keeping in mind what you want and what is best for you.
HCXO,
Julie :)
[Photo coutsey of Google Images]