Everyone is guilty of sometimes doing things that are harmful to their relationships. We all make mistakes, but if these harmful actions are done repeatedly, you could find yourself losing relationships left and right.
1. Relating everything to yourself.
Connecting with others by revealing information about yourself is a great why to improve your relationships. However, if every conversation is about what you or your sister/mom/dog did, the person that you are talking to will get the impression that you don’t care about them or their opinion. It really hurts a relationship, especially if they are venting and you make it all about yourself. They will eventually just let you talk about yourself until they let go of the friendship. The best way to fix this is by switching the conversation back to them or something else that doesn’t revolve around you.
2. Being cruel.
This may seem like a no-brainer but when we become comfortable with our companions, we will joke around. Depending on the individual, joking too hard can ruin a relationship. Some people are more sensitive than others, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s better to ease into the joking aspect of the relationship instead head diving deep into something sensitive/offensive that could end very badly. Make sure you are aware of the other person’s sense of humor and what things may be hurtful even if your intentions are just to be funny. Before you make that joke take a second to consider how the other person will feel and you can’t go wrong.
3. Inconsistency with communication.
This is something I struggle with the most. It is another no brainer but you have to bring personality into the mix. Some people need to communicate with their peers on a daily basis, possibly hourly. Some, on the other hand, can go months without communicating and still feel the same way about you now as they did months ago. Since people are very complex individuals, this can be fixed based on the person. Someone who is an extrovert will probably need to have one conversation with you a day in order to maintain your relationship. A downside is that they possibly need more communication than that. Sometimes too much communication can result in arguments or coming off as annoying. An introvert can go a little longer without communicating, they will most likely be fine if you have a conversation one day and don’t speak to them for two weeks. A downside to this is that you will more likely need to start the conversations unless they feel the need to talk.
Either way, going without communicating for too long can be seen as lack of interest. Luckily for us, most humans are in the middle where they can go a few days without communicating. A helpful tip would be to see how they communicate in person; see who talks the most in the conversation, who likes silence, and how social they are with others. How they communicate in person shows how long (or short) the time between communicating should be. Communication is key to healthy relationships but with social and individual needs, finding a middle ground between annoying and isolating your friends is hard.
Keeping these three issues and tips in mind will help your relationships for the long term. Be sure to consider the other person and remember that mistakes happen but if we regularly do things that harm our relationships, they will not be there for long.