When missing someone dear to us, we often neglect all of the things that may have happened during the relationship. While it may be easy to forget about everything during Hot Girl Summer, navigating Sad Girl Autumn is a little bit more difficult. Whether it’s a friend, lover or anything in between, their absence is always felt, but especially during the colder seasons. Besides the seasonal depression, society romanticizes the fall and winter as time to enjoy with another person, but what if you’re missing someone?
Identifying those who you are missing is the first step in understanding why you miss them in the first place. A lot of people shun missing an ex, but accept the pain people may be feeling when someone passes away. Although, the immense feeling of sorrow can arise from any occasion and won’t dissipate due to someone saying, “stop thinking about them.”
So, what is there to do? Do you ignore the pain and continue with the mental and emotional strain, or do you ignore everyone around you and recognize what you’re going through? There are a billion reasons a person could be missing someone they recently were involved with, but the problem is people who were actually in the relationship are the only ones aware of what actually happened. This then brings external conflict amongst social groups or family members who are interjecting themselves in your current state of emotion and situation. They can bring their own personal opinions and thoughts to make you feel worse about yourself.
Following up with the judgment that will come to the surface once your peers and family members understand the current relations you have with this person, humiliation becomes the epitome of your existence. You’re looked at as someone who’s going backward, doesn’t care about their well-being and is blinded by emotion. Against all odds of their reasonings, you may be feeling the best you have in months, optimistic even, and simply trying to hold it together.
Daydreaming of all the ways things could get better, you’re confronted with the reality of those who support you now completely against you. Trying to suffice the love and care you have for someone can make yousound unexplainable to others. Any minute without them feels like enough time has passed. Ignoring the concept of good and bad, you create every excuse to summon them back into your life.
Falling under the wrong assumption, manipulation finds the most slippery slope to slip under. The cycle of confusion emerges, and the only defense you have for yourself is you miss them. Making them what you want them to be, with time you’re given the good, bad, and ugly but finally, the clarity that you ultimately need. The ongoing analysis between your external influence and your heart isn’t an easy one to determine, but sometimes you just need to miss people before you move forward.
Remembering yourself and your morals is the hardest thing to successfully do in circumstances like these. The strength to uphold yourself without any tarnishing isn’t made to be easy, because with every battle comes a little bit of scarring. Time will heal that wound too, and it’s not your fault nor will it ever be that you simply miss a memory, feeling or human being. Romanticizing your journey is an option that many people don’t see as an actual solution, but it can help in many ways. Setting up your most flattering self-care moment that includes journaling, eating good food or even watching TV are little things you have to prioritize and remember. The pain will try to override your stable mindset and you do have to let it surface, but learn how to control what’s not allowed to disrupt your progress.
Acknowledge healthy boundaries for yourself between those who are in your situation and those who aren’t. You don’t have to take everyone’s thoughts into consideration, but if the people in your life claim to have your best interest in mind try educating them on where you’re coming from in the situation. An agreement may not be seen among the decisions you may be making, but at least you’re tapping into other insights. This shows growth and maturity in any situation when you can see both sides. Understand you’re allowed to miss someone. There aren’t many things in the world a person is entitled to, but one is your feelings. They’re valid and valued because it’s better to face your feelings than suppress them. For those parts that were good, you can miss them.