The Signs as Norman F*cking Rockwell Songs

My queen has up and done it again. Lana Del Rey’s new album “Norman F****** Rockwell” is a true masterpiece that came just in time for fall drives and our autumn mood. So, I took the time to mash up two of my favorite things: astrology and this album. Read on and find out which song you are most like.

  1. 1. Aries - Venice B*tch

    Fear fun, fear love

    Fresh out of fucks forever

    Tryin' to be stronger for you

    Ice cream, ice queen

    I dream in jeans and leather

    Live stream, I'm sweet for you”

    This song perfectly embodies Aries’ desire for fun and their passion.

  2. 2. Taurus - “F*ck it I love you”

    “It turns out California's more than just a state of mind

    I met you on the boulevard, wind through my hair, you blew my mind

    As an earth sign, Taurus’ priorities lay with their mind and their rooted beliefs.This song exemplifies breaking free from them. 


  3. 3. Gemini - “Bartender” 

    I bought me a truck in the middle of the night

    It'll buy me a year if I play my cards right

    Photo-free exits from baby's bedside

    'Cause they don't yet know what car I drive

    The Gemini prides themselves on their duality, their adaptability and their freedom. This song perfectly describes that.

  4. 4. Cancer -  “Cinnamon Girl”

    Cinnamon in my teeth

    From your kiss, you're touching me

    All the pills that you take

    Violet, blue, green, red to keep me at arm's length don't work

    You try to push me out, but I just find my way back in

    Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out, I win” 

    Cancers are people who feel everything incredibly deeply and “Cinnamon Girl” captures that. Plus, Lana herself is a Cancer Sun, Mercury, and Mars! 

  5. 5. Leo - “Doin’ Time”

    “Oh, take this veil from off my eyes

    My burning sun will, some day, rise

    So, what am I gonna be doin' for a while?

    Said, I'm gonna play with myself”

    This song captures the Leo fire and their independent passion that they are known for. They don’t call them “Leo the Lion” for nothing.

  6. 6. Virgo - “Norman f*cking Rockwell”

    “But you don't know the half of the shit that you put me through

    Your poetry's bad and you blame the news

    But I can’t change that, and I can't change your mood, ah


    Now, I’m a Virgo myself so I’m not being critical when I say that Virgos are incredibly critical and this song perfecly describes that feeling. 

  7. 7. Libra - “Love song”

    “Now I’m here with you, and I

    Would like to think that you would stick around

    You know that I’d just die to make you proud

    The taste, the touch, the way we love

    It all comes down to make the sound of our love song” 

    Libras are emotional as they express their feelings in such an outward way, and this song does that in such a beautiful fashion.

  8. 8. Scorpio - “How to disappear”

    Haven't seen you 'round here lately

    All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't

    You just crack another beer

    And pretend that you're still here

    Scorpio’s desire to be a private and deeply intrapersonal person is captured in this song which is truly all about disappearing into one’s self. 

  9. 9. Sagittarius - “Mariners Apartment Complex”

    You took my sadness out of context

    At the Mariners Apartment Complex

    I ain't no candle in the wind

    I'm the board, the lightning, the thunder

    Kind of girl who's gonna make you wonder

    Who you are and who you've been”

    “Mariners Apartment Complex” captures Sagittarius’ fire and their determination to pursue their wants and desires. 

  10. 10. Capricorn - “The Next Best American Record”

    And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record

    That we gave all we had ’til the time we got to bed

    'Cause we knew we could”

    Capricorn’s analytical nature can guide them to focus deeply on an issue and work until it’s come to fruition, and “The Next Best” showcases that process.

  11. 11. Aquarius - “California”

  12. 12. Pisces - “Happiness is a butterfly”

    “Happiness is a butterfly

    Try to catch it, like, every night

    It escapes from my hands into moonlight

    Every day is a lullaby”

    Pisces’ are very artistic and highly creative people, and the butterfly as happiness metaphor is nothing, if not artistic and creative. Pisces’ are often lost in the clouds, feeling instead of thinking.

Lana continues to amaze us all with her profound lyrics and innovative sound. I love this woman more than words can say, and each sign has a special song that speaks to them. She manages to capture the nature of each sign in a moment and showcase that through her music. Perhaps it’s her Cancer Mercury that allows her to communicate empathetically.