So I’ve been thinking a lot about men lately.
No, not in that way. I’ve been reflecting on masculinity, what that means in our society and what that does to people across the gender spectrum. I’ve been wanting to write an article about this for a long time and my delve into this subject has led me to a variety of topics that people can (and have) written books about.
I’ve always been a fan of con artists as a topic, and there is no better intersection of these two issues than the world of pick up artistry — specifically the kind where men who are “successful” in the dating industry trick other men into forking over hundreds of dollars so that they can discover the secrets of the “game” of hookup culture.
See, that’s the part of pickup artistry that I don’t understand. Pick up artistry isn’t about finding a meaningful relationship or sexual technique. Pick up artistry is about just having sex with as many people as possible, no matter if one enjoys it or not.
To explain what I mean by this, I have to backtrack a little. Initially this article was going to be a dissection of Roosh V, one of the most notorious pickup artists (and hypocrites) out there. I even found a bootleg copy of his pickup artistry book, “Bang,” and sat myself down to read it.
But to be honest, I couldn’t finish it. First of all, it’s poorly written. But more importantly than that, it expresses genuinely awful views about women and “beta” men. In the little bit I did read, however, I found it very odd in its views on its subject matter.
Take this explanation of what sex is directly from “Bang”: “If you strip sex down to its physical components, it’s an act during which a man inserts a rod-shaped mass of engorged tissue into a woman’s lubricated cavity, also made of tissue. A man rubs his rod in and out, stimulating pleasure receptors in his brain until it decides to eject a genetic package that’s important in continuing the species.”
Wow, that makes sex sound horrifying. Why would someone write a whole book dedicated to something that they don’t even like?
To Roosh and other pickup artists, sex isn’t enjoyable or romantic or anything emotionally fulfilling. In fact, the idea of emotionally positive sex is laughable to them and makes them a “beta” male. Instead, sex is a way to prove oneself as a true “alpha” male. The point is just to have sex. If you try one of their techniques and it doesn’t work out the first time, try and try again until it does. It doesn’t matter if you like your chosen partner, the only thing that matters in “winning” is just having sex.
This is a dangerous way of thinking. It reduces women to objects and men to either competition or cucks. In all honesty, it sounds isolating. Refusal to allow emotional openness closes people off to fulfilling relationships in any regard, not just romantic.
Here’s my advice, as a woman who knows what works on me. Don’t waste money on pickup artists who don’t have anyone’s best interest at heart. Don’t try any weird techniques. Women know about them and they create awkward situations.
Instead, if you’re interested, go over and start a normal conversation. Ask them how they feel and talk about each other’s interests. It could lead to a one night stand, a relationship, whatever you and that person like. No matter what path you take, it’s sure to be a lot more fulfilling (and cheaper) than being emotionally closed off and seeing romance as a game rather than an experience.