Have you ever gotten the ick from a partner or just someone you were talking to? I sure have. Whether it be the way they chew, the dirt under their fingernails, the way they eat ramen or even something as silly as saying, “I don’t know, he opens his mouth or when he laughs, I have the ick.”
Most people should know what I’m talking about, but for those that don’t, I’m talking about the weird stuff that you notice about someone, and it drives you absolutely crazy. So, when you’re talking to them or even thinking about them, all you can think about is the way they ate spaghetti at dinner last night. In my experience this is usually how it goes when I realize I have the ick:
I’ll say something like, “We went to dinner last night and I noticed something weird.”
Then one of my friends will say, “Oh no, don’t say it.”
It’s that point when everyone in the room realizes the ick is in your brain, and good luck getting it out. Typically, as soon as I even think of the word “ick,” I simply cannot get those thoughts out of my head and I know it’s over, even if it barely started.
I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about “getting the ick” and he realized he’s never had it. That got me thinking: I am only his second relationship and he never really liked messing around, so what if “getting the ick” is something that only happens in the talking or early stages of a relationship. Then my boyfriend said something that made things a little bit clearer.
He said, “You can’t get the ick if you really love someone.”
This was interesting to me. I had always thought you could get the ick at any point in a relationship. I got the ick with my ex-boyfriend of five months when he and I finally had sex. I kept having intrusive thoughts about sex with him and how much it grossed me out. At first, I honestly was convinced maybe I liked women, but then I realized I literally had the ick and until now, I didn’t see a problem with that. However, maybe that means I never really loved him. Combined with every other horrible thing from that relationship, that was definitely the case.
So, after all of that what is my point? I think “getting the ick” is just a thing for people you don’t totally care about yet. We come up with things at random that “bother us” when none of those things really have to do with a genuine connection. For example, my boyfriend now at this point could cut his ramen with scissors or sh*t his pants and I wouldn’t get the ick because I genuinely love him and connect with him even past all the silly stuff. My other point is that if you find yourself in a committed relationship saying, “I think I have the ick,” maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship a little bit.
For everyone who has gotten the ick, why does it bother you so badly that you can’t talk to them anymore? And if you’ve never gotten the ick, maybe you aren’t as superficial as the rest of us, or maybe you just haven’t noticed these things before. Sorry if you start to notice them now.