Firstly, accept that you can’t. Sorry! I’m going to first off tell you that you will never have every aspect of your life perfectly in order, but neither will anyone else. This is hard for some people to believe, but the girl on Instagram who always has a cute outfit and perfect hair and is somehow always going on trips does not have a perfect life. I recently attended a leadership conference where we discussed the deceiving, toxic idea of “effortless perfection.” The idea that as college women, we are supposed to get a 4.0, volunteer, get internships, join extracurriculars, have leadership positions, be in a relationship, have enough money, workout, maintain a social life and spend time with family, all while looking pretty and not shedding a tear. Whew, no thanks. I can assure you that NO ONE is on top of all of these things and is smiling through it all. To be frank, you will be miserable trying to be as “put together” as the woman next to you until you accept the reality that we’re all struggling and as women, we need to take this truth and help each other out.
With this lesson in mind, there is still a benefit to helping yourself feel more put together, things you can do to feel a bit more confident and in control. The important thing to remember is that there are going to be days where none of this will help, your life will feel like a complete mess and you can’t hide your stress in front of other people. Let it out, girl. The feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated and upset are valid and you shouldn’t have to hide it. There will also be days, however, when you’re ready to feel like you can take on the world and just need to convince yourself that you can. Know that the tips I have might not work for all (and not doing these things doesn’t mean you’re slacking) but they might just add the confidence in your life you need to feel like you can get sh!t done.
Dress for success.
Never underestimate how wearing a cute outfit you feel good in can change your whole mood. You’ve likely heard advice about this before, but I can’t express what a difference this can make. Make this easier for yourself by picking out your clothes the night before. This is such a useful habit to develop because it also takes time off your morning routine!
Make your bed in the morning.
This might seem like a daunting task to some, but this gives me that “put together” feeling like nothing else. The first 46 seconds of this video is what inspired me to start doing this every day.
Clean your room. (Or at least your workspace!)
You might not want to hear this, but a fresh, clutter-free space can make a drastic impact on your mindset and productivity. If you need to, dedicate a whole day to cleaning out and organizing your room. Get rid of clothes and random knick-knacks you don’t need, keep your desk (if applicable) clear and find a spot for everything you keep. Once you start fresh and are ready to be dedicated to a clean space, it will be easier to stay on top of things. Check out “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix for ultimate inspiration and tips.
Organize your schedule.
This one needs emphasis! The popular cutesy, colorful planners might not work for you and that’s ok. Find a calendar, sticky note method, or schedule app that fits your style and dedicate yourself to it. You should always be keeping track of your assignments and events. Not doing so is the easiest way to forget about your responsibilities and become overwhelmed. Write down your tasks each day without overloading yourself, be realistic and prioritize what you need to get done first that day and set reminders on your phone if needed.
Do not let your emails & texts linger.
Respond to your messages when you see them. If you don’t, you will tell yourself you’ll respond to it in a little bit, then completely forget and days will pass. Stop doing that. There is a special sense of productivity when you sit down and respond to emails (so adult).
Keep your nails in shape.
You do not have to always have a fresh set of acrylics, but keeping up with your nails is a really easy way to feel a bit more put together. Take off chipping nail polish and trim them to make sure they’re not all different lengths.
Create a healthy routine that works for you (and stick to it).
You should be hard on yourself for this one, how you take care of your body affects you in endless ways. Whether it’s doing 25 jumping jacks in your bedroom or spending an hour lifting weights at the gym, you need to exercise every day. This will give you more energy during the day and likely help you sleep better at night. You are guaranteed to feel so proud of yourself for exercising, just find a method that you like best.
There are many other ways you can feel accomplished about taking care of yourself – eat fruits and vegetables, wash your face twice a day (you go girl), drink enough water (64 oz at the minimum, ladies), and last but not least, getting enough sleep. (Or at least trying your absolute hardest to get a little bit more sleep than you did the night before).
Most importantly, believe in yourself.
The journey of self-love is long and never easy, but worth every bit of effort. Work towards this every day. The only true way to feel confident and put together is to be able to tell yourself you’re doing great – and believe it. Your mindset and attitude are amazing tools that you have control of. Cheesy as it may seem, believing in your own ability is what enables you for success.
Try out these different tips and see which ones make a difference in your confidence! You’ll likely find that at least a few of these really give you that “put together” feeling, but remember, you’re probably already doing better than you think, be proud of the work you’ve done. You got this!