A Survival Guide for the Newly Single on Valentine's Day

Being single during the Valentine’s Day season can feel like the kiss of death for the newly single. I have never felt any particular way about this day, as I find it to be completely void of meaning. But regardless of who you are it is impossible to escape the avalanche of sappy social media posts that are about to dominate your news feed. From the obnoxiously long flipagram exchanges to the ensuing #WCW posts, February 14 is sure to be sensory overload. Too many of these performative gestures on your screen can quickly turn from cute to the stuff of nightmares. 

Dating is far more difficult these days than it was for the generations that came before us. Our parents never had to feel the dread of accidentally swiping an ex on tinder or seeing an old fling on your explore feed. The year is 2018 and while society has regressed in some ways (i.e: eating tide pods for internet clout) we have also reached a level of technological advancement where it is quite literally impossible to ever forget somebody. From Facebook stalking to comment creeping it has never been easier to keep tabs on an ex flame or former partner. You have the power to feed all of your obsessing right in your hand.

 

So if you are recently single, this is only heightened by the societal pressure of a holiday created specifically to pressure people in to grand romantic gestures and expensive offerings. We all know that Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic venture created to snatch our money, and yet it is almost impossible to not feel FOMO come February 14. But it is time to turn your bitter in to blessed because being alone this Valentine’s Day is a gift for the following reasons:

 

  • It is a Gift That Your Feelings About the Relationship You Were in Have Gone Away

Regardless of how it went down, your last break up happened for a reason. There is no timeline for getting over a heartbreak but it will go a lot faster if you focus on yourself instead of them. In the immortal words of ‘Yonce, tell him boy bye.

 

  • You Can Be Your Own Valentine

Men are horrible gift givers, I’ll say it. Sure, you could have a boyfriend that gives you some poorly chosen gift that you later convince yourself you like. Or you can take yourself on a romantic date down the holiday aisle at Target and buy yourself the candy you actually want. You can drink pinot Grigio alone in your pajamas instead of having to go out to an overpriced dinner and wear heels when you really just wanted to order in. Do a face mask. Write a list of reasons why you love yourself. Make yourself a valentine. Treat. Your. Self.

 

  • You Are on to Bigger Things 

Remember this first and foremost: it is a made up holiday. It is easy to get caught up in the fantasy of Valentine’s Day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, everybody you know is in a loving and performative relationship. But remember that investing in yourself and your future is the best way to practice self care. And remember: success is the sweetest revenge.

 

 

Photo By Alexandra Gorn