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Single, Not A Status

Your relationship began with butterflies and happiness, and it lasted for a while (or didn’t) and now, you’re single.

You have a mixture of emotions: either angry, devastated, or joyous beyond measure, or somehow all of these at the same time. You feel free, but you feel kind of lost. It’s been a couple of weeks or months and you are ready to feel like yourself again. You want the feeling of being in love and being valued.

Well, honey, take this quote to heart:

“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” — Abigail Rajkumar

Single is not synonymous with being dependent or desperate, but should be viewed as a state of being, whole and complete. If you actually want to be happy, you have to make your own happiness without anyone else’s approval. Be strong enough to create your happiness the ways you want to and see things the way you want to.

By now, I’m sure you’ve talked to your friends about your feelings and how you don’t want to “backslide” (go back to your ex or a previous hookup). To embrace yourself as a single girl and love yourself, there are four simple steps:

Stop envying

Envy is one thing that destroys you more than anyone or anything else. Only you feel the anger and disgust, so make the decision to be happy and let it go. Stop dissecting other couples’ relationships, because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 

Embrace being single

In fact, right now, you have the greener side. You can stream your own Netflix without asking your significant other’s opinion, you CAN have the entire bed, covers and both pillows, stop 100+ times while shopping just because you want to look at something, you can take compliments from anyone (yes, even that cute boy in your class) and conclude that “thank you” text with a flirty wink. 


“You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” from the Sandlot has NEVER been more relevant.

If you’re the type to think of how “it used to be,” you’re driving your friends crazy and only you can make this better. Stop scrolling through pictures, stop going to all your favorite places, stop texting them, stop trying to feel that sense of comfort when you should be reminding yourself how amazing you are and how much happier you can make yourself.

On the other hand, if you need the closure, talk about it with your ex-significant other. Go to coffee, vent about it and see what happens. If ex-significant other is not willing to do so, then you are definitely better off without them right now.

So, be happy right now and make the most of what you have right now. If they drop the “not right now,” make your own happiness. Do what you want and do what makes you smile, because why should you want someone who doesn’t want you?! Answer: you shouldn’t. 


Prepare yourself for your next relationship: the one with yourself. Date yourself for a bit and make sure you are secure in your own happiness, path to success, and decisions before you try to invest in someone else. These links give great suggestions for “Me Nights!”

19 Awesome Things to Do Alone

No Date! No Problem! 

30-Day Single Girl’s Challenge

You are single. You are powerful. You are in control of your happiness.

With that, I leave you with this last piece of wisdom:

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Willamson


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I am a senior at the University of Kentucky working towards a major in Business and Organizational Communications and a Media Arts and Studies minor. I love scheduling every moment of the day; this includes, but is not limited to, long walks on the beach, horseback riding into the sunset and being a mix of northern sass with southern class.
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