An Open Letter To Myself

Dear Me,

Well, what is there to really say that I’m sure you don’t already know. I mean you are me, so this isn’t like talking to a stranger. I’m sure you, also, know that I feel crazy writing a letter to you because I’m having a conversation with myself, but then again I did go on a date with you at Panera Bread. It can’t be that crazy, since everyone talks to themselves, but I guess with us, it’s been awhile. There’s been a lot that's happened this year that I just haven’t really talked to you.

It’s weird to think that you’re a stranger, but you’re me, so how can you be a stranger. I guess it’s because I’ve blocked you off. I don’t listen to you when you try to rationalize with me. I don’t listen when you try to tell me all the good things about myself. I listen when the negative side comes through and has so many things to say. The sad part is that you are just a stranger because this past year has made you a stranger. I’ve disconnected from you, and you’re someone I don’t recognize. The struggle is trying to reconnect with you and knowing who you are, yet there’s always a roadblock, which is me.

So, how do I reconnect us if the roadblock stopping us is me? The reason you’re a stranger, and why I can’t accept you is because you show the truth. You prove that things have changed and that I’m not the same person I was after this year and even last year. That’s why I can’t accept you. I can’t accept you because you are someone different. You’re not the past me that I try to be every day. The one that didn’t have a care in the world and was always laughing and smiling. That’s not us anymore, is it though? That’s who I’m trying to be and who you’re proving that I’m not.

We all go through changes, but it’s hard to admit that we’ve completely changed. It’s hard to accept that we aren’t the same person that we were a year ago, but isn’t that why we try so hard to be that past self again? That’s why I keep you out because if we’re in public I don’t want everyone to see the new me, but rather the old me. I suppose I need to accept you because I can’t keep blocking you out. You’re a stranger, but only because I couldn’t accept that I wouldn’t be the old me. It’s been a year of changes, and I’m sorry I haven’t been better to you, but I promise to accept you.

Sincerely,

Well, clearly, we know who wrote this