Love or Abuse: The Truth about Domestic Violence
Ladies, I know my articles are more fun and light, but I felt this was something that needed to be said. My best friend brought it to my attention on Tuesday evening. She asked us to not see the new Fifty Shades of Grey film because it supported themes of an abusive and toxic relationship, rather than the BDSM relationship it is supposed to portray. Now I went to see the movie on Saturday with my girlfriends and enjoyed the movie, but saw the signs of a toxic relationship my friend had told me about. I’m here to inform you girls about the background, the signs and where you can seek help on campus.
What is domestic violence?
The definition of domestic violence states that it is violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. It is a pattern of abusive behavior. Domestic violence means harming your significant other whether it is through physical or verbal abuse.
Who is affected by domestic violence?
It affects everyone. Domestic violence is not just limited to women, even though a majority of domestic violence cases are women. Domestic violence affects men, women, and even children. It affects all races, ages, religions, social classes, and homosexual and heterosexual relationships.
Okay now that we have the basics of what domestic violence is, here are some of the major signs of a toxic and abusive relationship.
He or she is very controlling/possessive of you
He or she is constantly questioning where you are, whom you’re with, or what you’re doing. They demand that you come to them right away. They tell you who you can and can’t be friends with and require you to ask permission to see your friends before you make plans. He of she is on your case 24/7 and sends a million texts asking where you are and telling you to call them IMMEDIATELY. They control where you work and if you work. They basically ISOLATE you from everyone.
He or she has a temper/ extreme anger
This isn’t the “oh he or she is just a little upset”. No this is he or she is enraged. For example, the beast from Beauty and the Beast had a temper that frightened his staff and even Belle. This is a temper that can lead to violence.
He or she becomes physically abusive
He or she hits you. This isn’t the playful hit that you’ll sometimes do when you’re joking around. This is an intentional hit to cause you harm. It can be a punch, slap, kick, throwing things etc. If he or she lays a hand on you to hurt you, leave immediately. It doesn’t matter if they apologize because there is a strong chance it’ll happen again.
He or she becomes verbally abusive
This is subtler, which leads to a victim to stay longer in a relationship. They are mentally abused and sometimes do not realize it. He or she will say things like you are worthless or pathetic. They will convince you that no one will ever love you like they do or who would want you and all you have is them. They will crush your confidence and make you submissive.
These are just a few of the signs, but if you have any of these signs or know of anyone, there is help out there. You can go to the wellness center on campus, Office of Women’s Affairs, your counselor, or any adult you trust. There are also many awareness groups in Chicago that are trying to spread the word by using anti Valentine’s Day cards about domestic violence. Help spread the word ladies because if we don’t talk about it, how are we going to put a stop to it?