My friend Nina* told me before about how she had met this great guy. He goes to UGA, had a lot going for him (including law school!), and that she has developed a crush on him over time. They had mainly talked during the break, but she had high hopes of hanging out with him once school started again. But sadly, she saw a change in his behavior. He would hardly respond to her messages, but when he did, he would say all the right things to make her feel better. She tried to make plans with him, but he would tell her he was unable to hang out. However, her friends would see him downtown at a bar flirting with girls. While hearing her out, I could not help but wonder: “Was Nina his Break-Bae?”
The Break-Bae is a person who someone only talks to during a break to keep themselves entertained. Once the break is over, whoosh, they are ghosted by the person they had been talking to. I consider any guy who only talks to girls during the break because they just want attention, inventors of the Break-Bae. When hearing Nina’s story, I saw four signs that she was The Break-Bae:
1. He doesn’t try to hang out with you
The best thing about college is the ability to hang out with whoever, whenever you want. This leaves the perfect opportunity for you all to hang out anytime you’re both free. But what if he doesn’t make use of this opportunity? It is better to hang out with someone in-person than consistently texting them. But if you are The Break-Bae, hanging out is not really in the picture. It’s a lot of talking about hanging out, but never action. You mainly notice this if you are the only one bringing up wanting to hang out. Wanting to spend time with each other should be equal between the two people in the potential relationship.
2. He doesn’t show the same amount of interest in you
During the break, he is able to focus a lot on you and show you his sensitive sweet side. But once he gets back to campus, you start to become less of a priority to him as he goes back to his routine on campus. It’s no wonder why Sandy didn’t “fit” in Danny’s world at first. But if he really liked and cared about you, he would make time for you no matter what.
3. He avoids all questions about your status
After a while, you begin to wonder where this is going. So, naturally, you start to ask him questions. But, he consistently avoids the questions like the plague or even accuses you of asking him these questions like you should know better. If he does that, he is a boy. If he was a real man, he would be straight up and tell you the truth.
4. He ghosted you
There is nothing worse than being ghosted. Being ghosted is the most prominent sign that you are The Break-Bae, and that he’ll only hit you up during the breaks. Once school starts again, whoosh, he’ll disappear out of your phone.
You should not be any guy’s Break-Bae. You are a queen and don’t deserve to be treated that way. A man that wants you before, during, and AFTER the break will do just that. And if he tries to hit you up again, tell him to download Tinder for the attention he’s clearly looking for.
* = Name changed for privacy