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Sex + Relationships

An Open Letter to Toxic Male Partners

Dear toxic male partners,

You may or may not realize this…. your dating habits and how you treat girls are toxic.

“WHATTTT???” you may ask. You heard me. Your dating habits are toxic for women. You all easily want to play games with women’s feelings instead of just going down the toy aisle at Target and picking out a game to play. I am a twenty-year old woman who doesn’t have time for the games and reading in-between the lines. I refuse to let you all play me and catch myself when I realized a game has been played. I wish I can ask you all, why? Why choose to play games? Why not be open and honest with the different women you encounter? Guys like you all convince women like me that romance is dying off with our generation. I can’t help but wonder: when will toxic male traits stop, and intentional relationships start?

There are two types of toxic male partners. There are the ones that know what they are doing, and there are the ones that think they are a good guy but are actual players in plain sight. This year alone, I have come across both types. For the guy that knew what game he was planning, he tried to make himself the victim, and I wasn’t here for it. This was a major red flag. I knew the game he was playing, and I will discuss this in a future article. He mainly couldn’t believe that I caught on to what he was doing. Just like evolution, women have inherently learned the games that men play.

To the guys that think they are good guys but are actually toxic, notice the way you treat the women you are “getting to know.” Do you claim that you are going to get together and hang-out but curve her everytime she suggests something? Do you comment on her photos and Instagram stories saying “oooooo” or “sheesh” but probably are commenting under other girls’ photos too? Do you lead her on thinking you are on the same page as her but then hit her with the “I’m not looking to date anybody right now” line? Then you, my friend, are a toxic male partner. You all are also the worst type of toxic partners since you make a girl feel like she found a gem when you are actually like all the other guys she has encountered on campus.

My advice: SOUL SEARCH! The way you are currently going about dating, you will all still be single at 45 wondering, “where did all the great single women go?” You decided to play with her heart at 21. Figure out what you want in a relationship at the current time, and be open with her. We just want open and honest communication. We would rather know what is up from the beginning instead of finding out in the middle of everything. Why don’t we tell guys to take time out to work on themselves like we tell women to do? Maybe if we normalize that it’s okay for a guy to be single, then we won’t have so many players. Maybe that will solve the toxic male problems we have today.

Sincerely, 

A Concerned Romantic 

Hey y'all. My name is Jayda Hill and I am currently a student at the University of Georgia trying to navigate adulting. I am Advertising major with a minor in Sports Management and a certificate in New Media. Besides writing, I enjoy laughing with friends, eating at my favorite places, reading, watching college football, movies, Youtube videos, and shows on Hulu and Netflix. I can't wait to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw with Her Campus UGA.
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