If you log on to practically any social media, you’ll see it’s typically overrun with inspirational quotes. Uplifting videos, pictures of small animals, motivational speakers, you name it and it’s there. While I don’t mind positive people trying to cheer others up through the use of inspiring messages or pictures of dogs, I do have a problem with the quotes that proclaim that being sad or angry is a waste of time, or a waste of life. Most go along the lines of saying “DUH! Just be happy instead.” As if emotions and brain chemistry worked that way, but I understand. I know that these sayings are somewhat true. I get it. I should spend life being happy. Of course being sad or mad or dwelling on the past is a waste of time. I’m not gaining anything positive from feeling this way, but stopping these feelings is easier said than done.
The obvious problem I have with these specific types of sayings, is that the goal of these messages is nowhere near being achieved. The purpose is to make someone feel untroubled, to remind them to let upsetting things go, but it in fact does the opposite. Quite often, when people look at a quote telling them to, “Be happy, because being sad is wasting your life,” it most often evokes the opposite response. Despite how cutesy or pretty the image looks, you can’t just choose to not be sad anymore. You can’t tell your brain what emotion to feel on cue. My feelings aren’t going to change simply because I want them to. If that were the case, we wouldn’t have this problem in the first place. Looking at these less-than-profound sayings on Instagram isn’t going to enlighten me or arouse some type of optimist awakening. There’s no forcing happiness if you’re not happy. So what do these messages do? They remind us of the fact that we are, yes, wasting our lives. Wasting our time because we are sad. They make us aware that the times we spend feeling bad, we will never be able to get back. They give a feeling of, “Oh shit, this is my youth and instead of feeling bad all the time I should be having a carefree time.” Yeah, they make us anxious.
I really do wish I were the person to post inspiring messages to her followers. The girl who was always positive and wanted to spread that optimism to others. The girl who is perpetually in the sun. I love these happy-go-lucky optimists, even if it is definitely hard for me to understand them, and I thank them for trying to spread their joy to the rest of us. But please, understand that telling someone they’re wasting their life is the opposite of comforting.