Imagine this: you have met a great person, and you two have a pretty strong connection. As you are probably growing feelings for them and continuing to progress the relationship, they completely cease all communication with you and basically fall off the face of the earth. However, you come to realize they did not die or get entrapped in a situation where no phones were allowed. They ghosted you. In this age of dating and technology, ghosting has started to become a “norm.” It is a hard situation to deal with, whether you met them on a dating app, they sit next to you in class or if they are a part of your friend group. Though it is a pretty sucky and confusing thing to have to be put through, there are ways to cope with the aftermath of this sudden cease of communication.
1. Accept the circumstances, and understand it was not your fault.
Us girls have a tendency to overanalyze situations like these. We ask, “What did I do wrong?” or “Am I not good enough?” We must understand that the other person ghosted us for (terrible) reasons of their own, whether it was because of their fear of commitment, their lack of self-esteem or they were just an overall bad person. This situation is not a reflection of your self-worth. Know that you are an incredible gal, and you are much better off without a person who does not recognize that.
2. Know that the “ghoster” is not someone you want in your life.
A person who decides to walk away with zero explanation is not really someone you would want as a partner, right? As hard as it may seem to move past the good times you two have shared together, remember the fact that they are too afraid to use basic communication skills, which is an important foundation of any relationship.
3. Surround yourself with people that bring you positive energy.
One great way to recuperate is to spend quality time with friends, family and other people who bring you joy. They can be there to listen to you vent or to help you get your mind off of the ghoster. Also, you may just want to be by yourself, and that’s okay, too; self-care is a vital part of having a healthy mind and soul.
4. Let yourself feel the emotions, because they are natural human reactions.
It is okay to feel upset or angry about the situation. You two had something pretty good going on, and they decided to end it with no warning and no communication with you. What they did totally sucks, so you should allow yourself to feel any kind of emotions you may have about it.
5. Once you have let the emotions run their course, let the ghoster go.
Although it is a hard thing you have gone through, being ghosted makes you stronger and more knowledgeable in this crazy world of dating. It is important to move on and find someone better for you. There is no need to stalk the ghoster’s social media or give them any more room in your mind. If they are not a friend or colleague of yours, you should delete their number, unfollow them on Instagram, unmatch with them on Tinder and just cut any remanence of them out of your life. They are not worth it. You have the power to control how you move on from the situation. Most importantly, you deserve so much better. In the wise words of Blair Waldorf: “You deserve someone who would move mountains for you if he had to.”
It may feel tough moving on from this situation and having hope for the next person you date, but it is incredibly important to have an open heart and an open mind in this dating world. Just know that you will meet many frogs before you meet your prince. Best of luck, Collegiettes!