What’s a girl or guy to do when their sweetheart doesn’t quite fit the heteronormative “Honey I Love You More Each And Every Day?” Well you’re in luck. Below is a compilation of Valentines day cards for the 21st century romantic. Byron, eat your heart out.
1. Awkward eye contact sometimes isn’t enough
2. Hence The Importance Of Being Earnest
3. Send your valentine a card. Don’t be a chicken.
4. You spend enough time together; get your Xbox a card. DO YOU WANT THE RED RING OF DEATH AGAIN?
5. For those passionate about punctation
6. Craigslist missed connections…
“I also promise not to tell anyone where you are.”
7. When in doubt, go with a card that’s universally true.
8. I’m telling you right now, the odds are not in your favour.
9. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
10. Marry them.
11. The passive agressive valentine. Also the most accurate.
12. For all you gooey, sentimental types
13. And everyone said Jabba was the romantic one
14. They really love crack.
15. You read it in the voice didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?
16. …said St. Valentine under his breath
(also Gob)
17. Sweet, but not too sweet.
18. Dear Hersheys,
19. Now available at you local CVS
(they’re where the cigarettes use to be)
20. A conversation starter.
21. But the roses & hearts make up for it, right?
22. Cancel your dinner reservations, you both know you’re not watching “just one episode.”
23. …Speaking of, u still up?
24. Trick Question. Do you want the D?
25. Now pour yourself a drink. It’s Valentines Day.