“I shouldn’t have to approach the guy! Why can’t he approach me first?”
You’re totally lying if you say you haven’t either heard this or said it at some point in your life. Here’s the thing: Every girl has been told since the beginning of time that if a guy likes her enough, he’ll “muster up the courage” to ask her on a date. This, in turn, results in a bunch of girls admiring their #MCMs from afar. Don’t get me wrong: It is such a confidence booster when the person you like turns out to feel the same way – and even more so if said person vocalizes their feelings first. But sometimes, I’ve found that it can be worthwhile to be the one to shoot your shot.
We are in the midst of a new wave – feminism is awesome, and men and women should totally be on equal playing fields. And if we’re all in agreement there, then what’s wrong with being the one who does the asking-out for a change? I’m not going to lie to you and say that it’s the easiest thing in the entire world because, of course, it isn’t! It’s never easy to put yourself out there and place your feelings at the mercy of another person. To be frank, this is one of the reasons I avoided doing it for so long. But your homegirl has never really been known for her patience. Lets rewind to a few years ago.
High school senior Cindy had a breakthrough and decided that if that cute boy from her chemistry class wasn’t going to ask her to prom, she was going to do it herself. And guys, I did it, albeit in the most brief and awkward way humanly possible. As in, I’m pretty sure it didn’t even sound like a coherent sentence. But that was a while ago, and cute chemistry boy has been cute chemistry boyfriend for the last three and a half years.
Maybe for some of us, it is more rooted in confidence. And maybe some others just feel like guys should always ask the girl out, and that’s the way it should be. But we get nervous; it’s also logical to assume that the guys get nervous too, right? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I make it really hard for people to gauge if I like them or not. I’m not trying to say that it’s going to end in success every single time because that just doesn’t happen.
What I am trying to say is that it can really be worth it. And if it doesn’t go the way you hoped, at least you can say that you made the first move, and that you were ballsy enough to do it. The results of your interaction with one person shouldn’t dictate all of your interactions for the rest of your life. You are still a valuable, beautiful individual regardless of how one person may make you feel.
We’ve been pinning inspirational quotes ever since Pinterest has been a thing, some of which encourage us to go after the things we want and tell us firmly that if we don’t try, then we cannot complain. Yeah, those inspirational quotes are usually applied to more serious endeavors and bigger things in life. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that we can’t apply them here. I mean, the back of the Sriracha bottle doesn’t say that I should be dumping it all over my scrambled eggs but I do it anyways because it’s delicious.
Valentine’s Day may have just passed, but don’t be afraid to shoot your shot for next year.