We may tell ourselves we want to be the girl all the guys fall in love with and go around crushing their hearts a la Taylor Swift in her “Blank Space” music video. But the fact of the matter is being in a situation where a guy is totally into you and you’re not really feeling it is incredibly awkward. The situation is unique from guy to guy, but they all tend to fall in one of these categories.
The Guy Who Stares At You in Class but Never Bothers to Say Hi: This type of guy is extremely annoying because he never introduces himself. He stares at you when you come in, keeping his eye on you as you sit down. If he’s talking with friends, he’ll still leer over his shoulder to watch you. It’s super uncomfortable, especially if he doesn’t bother to close his mouth as he gawks at you. The best way to deal with this type of guy is to avoid eye contact at all costs because any sort of acknowledgement will only fuel his crush. If he adds you on social media, don’t add him back unless you’re actually interested because then he’ll send you a long message about how he’s seen you around all the time, which will send you into a panic at 1 a.m.. Keep interactions brief and perhaps he’ll soon lose interest.
The Classmate Who Always Stops to Chat: A step up from the previous type, this guy has at least made contact with you. It’s hard to tell whether he’s just being a friendly classmate or if he’s flirting, but an obvious clue will be if he constantly asks you to hang out one-on-one. “Let’s get coffee,” he might say, making it really unclear as to whether it’s “getting coffee” or actually going to get coffee. If you’re not into this guy, decline his offers for one-on-one hangouts, and if he asks you to study or do homework together, either decline him outright or suggest a group study session to avoid the awkwardness that comes from one-on-one hangouts. Hang on until the end of the semester and you’ll probably never have to see him again.
The Friend of a Friend Who Asks About You but Never Makes a Move: This guy is someone you’ve met quite a few times, but only in larger group settings. You have never ever had an actual conversation with him, and more often than not when you are in said group settings you spend the whole time talking to someone else. When you come home your friend texts you and says something along the lines of “OMG Ryan said you were flirting with him all night!” to which you reply, “I didn’t even look at him.” He’ll talk to all your friends, asking about you, claiming that you were totally checking him out the last time you guys hung out. But he’ll never actually talk to you. Why? Well, he’s probably waiting for you to make the first move, which you probably never will. Continue to express displeasure when your friends tell you the latest absurd thing he said about you and hope that after not acknowledging him in that way, he’ll finally take a hint.
The Friend Who Definitely Wants More: You’re getting really close with one of your guy friends and the subject of dating comes up. “I’m not really looking for a relationship,” you say. “I totally understand,” he says back. “I’m not either.” You smile, thinking you’ve gotten away with it, when before you know it, he leaves a fudge heart at your doorstep and asks if you want to go to the butterfly garden on campus with him. Just as friends, of course. Maybe have a totally-not-romantic candlelit dinner afterwards. This type of situation is especially tricky and awkward because there’s a chance you’ll lose a friend. If your guy friend’s trying to take things to the next level and you’re not interested, the best course of action is to outright tell him you’re not into him. Just remember, if he calls you a friend-zoning b*tch, then he was never really your friend in the first place. A true friend will understand what you’re comfortable with and that you’re just not into him.
The Guy Your Friends Set You Up With: Your friends insist that they have the perfect guy for you, but as you start to text and talk to him, you realize that he’s just not your type. He, however, seems to think that the two of you are a match made in heaven, so he continues to text you and asks you repeatedly to hang out. This type of guy can be dangerous because you have no idea who he is or what his intentions are. If you tell him you’re not interested, will he just laugh it off and stop texting you? Or will his male ego get bruised, causing him to call you names? The good news about this guy is that you’re under no obligation to continue contacting him and ignoring him won’t be awkward since you’ve probably never met for long in person.
The Guy You Went On One Date With: So you went on a date with this guy. Maybe things went okay. Not the best date of your life, but not so terrible that you’re sworn off from romance forever. But this guy is absolutely 100 percent convinced that you’re the one. He continues to text you, making plans for your second date, hinting about your inevitable destiny together, writing your names with little hearts between them on various trees around campus. And you don’t want to completely crush his heart. The thing is the longer you put off the inevitable “Look, I’m just not into you” talk, the worse his heartache will be. Try to tell him before he starts telling all his relatives and mutual friends that you guys are basically engaged. Be honest and direct, and don’t put it off or you’ll regret it. It’s extremely uncomfortable to do, but it’s better to nip it in the bud before you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.
Navigating the tricky waters of romance is hard enough when you’re into a guy, but dealing with a guy who has a thing for you when you’re not into him just adds an extra obstacle in your way. Don’t let it get to you though because though these awkward situations seem horrible, they always resolve themselves. In the end, you’ll have a great story to tell.