We all have that friend or acquaintance who seems to be good at everything. You know the type: president of every club they join, a stack of internships from big-name companies, a resume that makes you cry, a 3.9 GPA and the capacity to balance it all with success and finesse. We lurk them on Facebook and unleash an envious rant on anyone within earshot because it all just seems too impossible to be true. This successful classmate — let’s call her Meg — doesn’t just make us envious; she makes us afraid and insecure. How does Meg seemingly do it all? What is she doing that I’m not? We ask these questions behind our computer screens as we scroll though albums of Meg’s professional headshots and click on everything in her hyperlinked resume.
The Megs in our lives make us feel inadequate, unsuccessful and unmotivated. How do we compare with people like Meg in an increasingly competitive academic environment and workforce? Lacking in self-confidence, how can we possibly achieve that same level of success? And if we can’t, why try at all? Simply put, the Meg of your life is not a real person.
Now, I don’t mean to seem like some out-of-touch Baby Boomer with a fear of progressive technology, but social media has skewed not only our interactions, but also our perceptions of others. Information that is shared via Facebook does not accurately represent the complex people we claim as our “friends.” Social media personas are just that — personas. The words, images and ideas we put forth on social media sites are carefully constructed and weighed decisions (whether we realize it or not) that display not who we truly are, but how we wish to be perceived. Despite how perfect Meg’s Facebook page (and Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn…) may seem, realize that this is a carefully cultivated image, and the person behind the profile is as complex as you are!
Even the Megs of the world experience the same self-doubt, insecurity and envy that you do. Even Megs have Megs (not to turn this into some convoluted Family Guy reference…), but I digress. Instead of lurking these various people who you envy behind a screen, go out and befriend your Meg! Humanize her (and join her clubs!), and realize that no one is without his or her individual issues. Your insecurities about personal success are common and shouldn’t prevent you from achieving your goals.
On a more complex note, success is the most vague and subjective term imaginable. Everyone views success differently, and one person’s idea of success shouldn’t be a blanket definition for everyone to follow. Leadership positions and internships may be Meg’s definition of success, but they don’t have to be yours. If you’re feeling unaccomplished or unsuccessful, perhaps you need to examine (or reexamine) your definition of success. What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime? What values have meaning to you? I know these are really heavy and complex questions, but they’re necessary in the context of your life. Money and prestige are not the be-all and end-all accomplishments that make life meaningful.
Though these things may be important to some (which is very valid and should be respected), finding something meaningful to devote yourself to is frequently the marker of “personal success.” So begins the difficult, or perhaps extremely easy, search for what you personally find meaningful, fulfilling and worthwhile. Once you decide what factors are important to your idea of a successful life, then you can take steps to accomplish those goals, whether that be internships, clubs, personal connections or anything else.
Above all, don’t let the success of other people (real or perceived) hinder your own endeavors. Despite the rate of unemployment, the prospects for success are nearly endless. Open yourself up to incoming opportunities, don’t treat success as a linear concept, try your very hardest at whatever you do, and success — whatever that may mean to you — will surely follow.
Photo credits: www.blog.dormify.comwww.centerforibh.com