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Sex + Relationships

Stop Giving Your Heart to the Wrong People

Love is not this complicated thing that we all make it out to be. It’s really not.

I think we are the complicated ones. We are the ones that make things so much more difficult than they have to be. I don’t know why we choose to do that. I recently watched “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” on Netflix and one of my favorite lines from that film is: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This is a beautiful reminder for all of us to keep in mind.

All I know is this. Stop giving your heart to those who don’t care about it. Give it to someone who does. I’m so tired of going through “what-if” relationships over and over. I question: “What would my life be like if it had just worked out this one time?” The answers aren’t often there for me to see. Most of all, I can’t stand the things that come from these failed attempts at romance. I can’t stand the ghosting. I can’t stand the immature guys and the ones who aren’t in it for the right reasons.

I have this horrible habit of giving my whole heart to someone way too soon. I don’t know if that’s the Pisces in me (because let’s face it, being a Pisces is pretty much a blessing and a curse when it comes to love) or if it’s just me. As a Pisces, I am such a dreamer. I love to think about what my life would look like if a certain person was in it. I also think that I give people the benefit of the doubt. I let things happen and let small red flags pass by without a second thought. Often, I get too comfortable with thinking that “Oh, he’ll be different.” When it comes down to it, I trust people too easily. Even though I know that it might not last, I still choose to be the nice girl. The naive girl. The girl who cares. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth being her anymore. But I have to believe that I can still be her and meet the one who’s right for me. So I dream about what I want in a relationship and I try my best to focus on that.

In a perfect world, I want someone who’s going to stick around. I want a guy who cares. I don’t want to have to force a relationship to work out, nor should I have to want that. For once, I just want it to work out, and I want to be with someone who won’t leave when things get tricky. That’s the entire point of relationships. They’re messy and they aren’t always going to be easy. Sometimes you have to work hard on them in order for life to get a little sweeter. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that if a relationship is to work out between two people, communication has to be there. I would always date guys that were so afraid to talk and to say what’s bothering them or speak their mind. This was ultimately the downfall. If there’s no communication in the relationship, that’s a major problem. I think we just have to try our best to find someone who we can see things working out with. We can try to find someone who we don’t have to question “if we like them” or question “if things would last.” So, let’s stop giving away our hearts to the ones who aren’t interested. Stop giving so much to someone who cares so little.

I started looking at these failed relationships as lessons learned. They taught me what I’m looking for in a relationship. They taught me that I deserve much more than I thought I did. I know that one day I’ll find the right one, and so will you. You are going to find them. It’s just going to take time. Choose people that choose you. Until then, take care of your heart and don’t give it up for just anyone. Love yourself. Love this life. Love will come.

I promise.

Features Writer for Her Campus UFL. Reader. Writer. UF English Literature student.
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