When you’re a shy girl, you know it. You don’t raise your hand as often in class. When you look at your crush you wish you had the guts to say hello. When you listen to your more outgoing friends gab about what they did last weekend, you can’t help but feel a little left out. You feel more comfortable with Netflix and a small group of friends than at the club scene. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun when you do go out! Though it can seem intimidating at first, it’s easy to have a fun night out, even if you’re shy. Here are a few ways to dip your feet in the wonderful world of going out:
Wear something that you feel both fabulous and comfortable in. A night out isn’t going to be fun if you feel awkward wearing something that you felt pressure to wear. You want to look good, but being comfortable with how you look is also a big necessity. If all your friends are wearing heels but you don’t feel comfortable in them at all, then don’t wear heels! Invest in some strappy sandals, cute flats or rocking boots. This also goes for items that you want to wear, but your friends don’t seem in to. If you know you’re going to look fabulous in that bright red lipstick, but your friends aren’t wearing bold lips, go for it anyway! Being scared of not fitting in with your group may seem silly, but it’s a legitimate worry for some girls. I’m here to tell you that, yes, it’s scary, but you should look the way you want to look. Feeling fabulous and comfortable is the first step for a great night out.
Have at least one close friend with you. Whether you’re hitting up Midtown with a large group or with a couple of gal pals, make sure you’ve got that one friend who you trust. It’s good to have someone to go to the bathroom with you and to dance with you when your favorite song comes on. It’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed in the swarm of people, whether it be at a club or a frat party, so it’s a good idea to have that one steady person to turn to. Talking to strangers is much easier when you have someone you’re comfortable with by your side. And if toward the end of the night you decide you’ve had enough, you and your buddy can always grab some munchies.
If someone’s hitting on you and you don’t want them to, it’s okay to say no. I’m not going to lie; sometimes it’s really hard to say no to someone. I’ve been there in that awkward situation when someone’s coming on to you and you really don’t want them to. But you have all the power to tell them to stop and to walk away. That’s the most direct approach, of course. If that’s a bit intimidating, you can always use the classic bathroom excuse – grab your trusted friend and zip over to the other side of the room. If they keep coming on to you and you don’t feel brave enough to tell them to leave you alone, turn to your friends. There’s always strength in numbers. If worse comes to worst, you can always leave for a change of scenery.
If someone’s hitting on you and you want them to, it’s okay to go for it! This brings on a whole different kind of intimidating — when someone you’re actually interested in is showing interest in you. You might be terrified of what happens next, but it’s totally okay to go for it. If it turns out that the person isn’t showing interest, then it’s their loss. Chances are you’ll forget about them in a week’s time. And if they are showing interest in you and you’ve 100 percent decided to leave with them, go for it! Just let a friend know where you’re headed so they aren’t worried that you’ve disappeared.
If the night doesn’t go perfectly, it doesn’t matter. So maybe you spilled your drink. Maybe the guy you were into didn’t even look at you the whole night. Maybe you copped out early and went to get pizza and feel like you missed out. Just know this — you are young and there will be many more nights out to look forward to. Soon the good nights will outnumber the average and the bad ones. It’s not a big deal if things don’t go according to plan. And if you don’t get the perfect night out of it, at least you’ve got a good story to tell about how that frat boy accidentally knocked you over while dancing.
Crowds of people and unfamiliar faces can be super daunting, but finding those key things to make you feel comfortable can really help make a night out memorable. Just remember to have fun and, most importantly, stay safe.