The world is designed for extroverts. To climb the corporate ladder, you must be outgoing and outspoken. To grow your network, you must throw yourself into packed rooms and talk to strangers for hours on end. To simply get a letter of recommendation, you are expected to be noticeable in the classroom and regularly engage with an authority figure. Many of these requirements are traits found mostly among extroverts. People who tend to be quieter are made to feel like that is something to fix, like it is something that will hold them back in life. I, myself, am an introvert. I can relate to this feeling all too well. While I do not think the world is going to change in this regard any time soon, I do think introverts should feel comfortable being true to themselves, even in spaces that demand the complete opposite. This is something I have come to call quiet confidence.
Throughout my entire life, I have felt self-conscious about my timid demeanor. From as far back as I can remember, I have tried so hard to make myself enjoy chatting it up. But the reality is, sometimes I just don’t really want to engage in lively conversations. After talking with friends who have had similar experiences, I’ve come to realize how much our society forces people to fit into the extrovert mold. However, I have also grown to realize that it does not matter what kind of mold society tries to stuff you into. Introvertedness and extrovertedness are two sides of the same spectrum. I think we can agree that going too far in either direction is not a great thing, but the entire introvert side of the scale should not be deemed bad just because we aren’t the loudest in the room. Rather, introverts should be given the space they need to express themselves just as extroverts are. Our confidence should be allowed to grow even if it looks different from that of extroverts.
It makes sense that the world works the way it does since extroverts tend to more readily share their opinions and therefore have more influence on the way things work. However, despite the room being designed by and for extroverts, that doesn’t mean introverts can’t also find their place. Obviously, to get anywhere, you will have to talk with strangers and converse in busy rooms. However, this does not have to be the only way to exemplify who you are. For all the energy you do not put towards networking or being the first to speak, you can put into the quiet moments occupied by diligently completing work or studying for exams. It does not even have to be related to a career or school; you can learn to exude your confidence in any realm of your life.
Quiet confidence, to me, is all about being confident in the things that are most important to you and your individual strengths. Being outspoken will not make the list for everybody. Instead, you can impress professors and employers with things you accomplish that go beyond social interaction. Once you learn to take pride in the things that are important to you, confidence comes naturally and is clearly seen by anyone watching. Adapting this confidence can also make it easier to take to superiors at crowded network events. Believing in yourself and your unique skill set is really all you need to get where you are going. Sure, being good at making conversations can definitely help you stand out to some people, but to the people who will end up mattering the most, the most important aspects of you are the things you put your energy into.
Life, especially college life, can be incredibly difficult to navigate as an introvert. You always feel behind your peers because you aren’t as vocal as they are able to be. Extroverts seem to carry with them a natural confidence that comes from their interaction with other people. For introverts, this same confidence is not as easily found. Due to society, introverts are made to feel like they are missing something since they do not have this natural confidence. However, I have some to learn about the importance of being quietly confident. Taking pride in yourself and your accomplishment, in what you do during your quiet moments, will emanate the same degree of confidence as any extrovert.