Friendships aren’t always easy to deal with. But there’s a difference between the occasional fight with your bestie vesus constant arguing and unnecessary drama. Some friendships aren’t worth the negativity and leave you questioning whether or not the person even cares about you. Do you suspect that you’re in a toxic friendship, but need some validation? Here are three signs you may be caught in the middle of a harmful friendship and some advice for how to get through it.
1. They don’t respect you.
There’s a difference between joking around with a friend and having them constantly insult you. If your friend is constantly trashing the way you dress, making fun of the things you love doing or bashing you for the way you speak or walk, then you may want to reevaluate your friendship. No one should have to put up with someone who constantly brings them down. Sometimes it’s hard to spot, especially if you’re the type of person who jokes around a lot with your friends. But if a friend continually puts you down for reasons that you’ve expressed you’re sensitive to or if they continue to expose you to situations that make you uncomfortable, then it’s definitely a sign of a bad friend. You deserve to be surrounded with people who give you the respect you deserve.
2. They expect you to put them before yourself, and they don’t do the same.
Friendships should be mutually beneficial. You should want to be there for your friends and they should want to be there for you. If, however, you have a friend who expects you to do things for them, but doesn’t make any effort to return the favor, then you ought to watch out. If they get mad at you for not staying up with them to study, but blow you off when you need a shoulder to cry on after your boyfriend dumps you, then you might want to ask yourself the last time your friend was there when you needed them. It’s understandable to put your needs before someone else’s, but if they constantly expect you to prioritize them and are getting angry when you don’t, then this may be a sign of a toxic friendship.
3. They use you.
If they’re constantly asking you to pick them up at odd hours of the night, coming over just to use your stuff or taking advantage of the fact that you’re willing to do things for them, that’s a telltale sign your friend may just be using you. There’s definitely a difference between someone who needs a favor and someone who’s just keeping you around for conveniences. It’s a bit hard to spot, but a good rule of thumb is that if you’re not getting as much from your friendship (not necessarily just in physical acts of service, but in fulfillment and emotional satisfaction) as you seem to be giving, then you might be getting used.
So what’s a collegiette to do?
Realizing a friendship has turned sour is never easy. At this point, you have two options: You can try to salvage the relationship or you can end things. If you think the friendship is worth saving, then try to sit down with your friend and explain to them how you feel and what you think, and if they really want to make an effort to be your friend, they will be open to listening. Otherwise, it’s a better idea to stop being friends with them. Hopefully you’re not overwhelmed with negativity in your life and this helps you get rid of some of the needless drama!
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