Relationships are complicated. They can have you analyzing a single sentence for hours into the night or just plain drive you crazy from all their ups and downs. If you find yourself questioning your current relationship status, why not go straight to the source?
We interviewed three regular guys on what advice they would give girls to solve common relationship problems and this is what they shared:
· If you want to go from “just friends” to Facebook Official…
You’ve been friends forever and have seen each other through some of the best (and worst) moments of your college career, but now you realize that your relationship could be something even better. If you find yourself developing feelings for one of your guy friends but aren’t sure how to make a move, first find out if he’s interested.
“The most important thing is to make sure that the guy is even interested in being in a relationship,” Jamie Parrish, 20, said. “That’s a biggie because some guys aren’t looking to settle down. If you find that they are willing to be in that situation, then set up a date with them.”
Parrish recommends keeping the first date simple and fun, like at a local pizza place or a concert downtown. Don’t scare off a good friend by taking things too fast.
When it comes to confronting your man, there are many options to choose from, but the best choice is to be straightforward.
“You could be direct and just tell him how you feel, or if you feel like that’ll scare him off, just try to hang out with him more one-on-one,” sophomore Isiah Miller, 19, said. “If you guys normally hang out with a group and you ask him to hang out alone, he could, and probably should, get the message.”
Another important piece of advice is to stay away from is the lunch date. “You can go to lunch with anybody,” senior Adam Gaudet, 23, said. “Dinner is more intimate and shows that you consider the guy as more than just an ordinary friend. It shows you want the relationship to be something more.”
· If you’re looking to switch from casual dating to long-term…
You’ve been on and off again with the same guy since that football BBQ in the fall, and now you’re ready to end the games. How do you gauge how serious your guy is about the relationship?
“The first sign I usually look for is if I see her with another guy and I feel jealous,” Parrish said. “Basically, I know she’s long-term material if I feel like if I didn’t commit to a relationship with her I would feel like I missed out.”
We aren’t recommending ruining things by flirting with his friends, but the guys recommend giving him some space to let him see how big of an influence you have in his life. So how do you make yourself irreplaceable?
The guys recommend being confident with yourself and being involved in things you are passionate about.
“I usually look for someone who is goal-oriented and knows where she is going in life,” Adam Gaudet said. “My girlfriend is going to grad school, and that shows me that she has a lot of determination and good goals.”
· If you’re trying to figure out the best way to end things…
No one likes to talk about this stage, but it’s all too familiar. Maybe you’ve been dating the same guy for several months and things have gotten stale, or maybe it’s only been a week when you realize you have a stage-five clinger on your hands, whatever the situation, break-ups happen.
“If she has a legitimate reason then I hope that she would bring it up for us to talk about first,” Parrish said. “If it turned out that we just couldn’t work out, then it’s her decision, people’s feelings change.”
The one thing all the guys seemed to agree on was to respect your guy’s feelings. Try to be considerate not only in the way you word the break-up, but also in the way you do it.
“There’s no easy way to do it, and it almost always ends up being awkward and uncomfortable,” Gaudet said. “Just don’t do it over Facebook, especially not in a wall post, that’s too impersonal.”