I used to dread February 14th, because along with it came the inevitable question of “who’s going to be your valentine this year?” For the 20 years I’ve spent on this planet, not one year have I had a valentine. They call it a day of love, yet it was the day of the year I loved the least.
Now, I can’t just attribute this hatred to my own lack of a valentine. The highly consumerist nature of the holiday always bugged me. The idea that marketing and producers have told us we have to buy all these different items like chocolate, roses and toys to show our love seemed ridiculous. If you truly loved someone, there are so many more meaningful ways to communicate those feelings. But, with the buy-buy-buy mentality that marketing has drilled into the heads of American consumers, Valentine’s Day became a holiday of purchasing.
On top of the lack of genuine love, this over-emphasis on consumerism made the holiday seem tacky. I always found myself avoiding the pink and red adorned displays put up in stores and going out of my way to not buy anything V-day themed.
Being at college only reinvigorated this hatred as I saw girls left and right being doted on and taken out by their boyfriends for the so-called holiday. The first time I realized it might be overrated was when my friend’s boyfriend got her a silver necklace. She exclusively wears gold. It was this simple ignorance that showed me that not all couples are happy, and that buying gifts to fit in with this capitalistic model of Valentines’ Day isn’t all it is cracked up to be. With this knowledge in hand, I slowly began to reshape my views on the holiday and all it stands for.
I always thought the day was dedicated to romantic love, but it celebrates platonic love all the same. The term Galentines has become popular in recent years, referring to the celebration of girl friendships rather than that of a romantic partner. Instead of buying things one will throw away, Galentines instead focuses on sharing food and love with your friends, the ones who are there through the ups and downs, and for life. They surely know which metal you wear too.
I celebrated my first Galentines with my girlfriends last year, and it completely changed my view on the holiday. I no longer approach it with the cynicism, hatred and dread I once fostered. Instead, I focused on the love and appreciation I had for my best friends. It completely flipped my perspective on the day, allowing me to enjoy something I once despised.
This year, I’m looking forward to Valentine’s Day, because even though I might not have a romantic Valentine, I know I have my friends, who love me and understand me better than any guy ever could.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of us single women – don’t let society ruin what is otherwise such a fun holiday, when you make it so.