I spend a good percentage of my day thinking about food. After I finish one meal, I’ve more than likely already moved onto thinking about what I’ll have for the next. One reoccurring daydream I’ve had is this — what if fictional foods existed in everyday life? Here’s a list of the foods I wish existed in real life.
1. Krabby Patties: Why can’t I roll up to a local Krusty Krab and buy a Krabby Patty? Why isn’t there a human equivalent of Spongebob, ready and eager to handcraft a Krabby Patty for me? I can imagine that this picturesque patty would top all fast-food burgers that this world has to offer.
2. Butterbeer: I understand that Butterbeer has technically been created already. Universal Studios Orlando generously offers two versions (frozen is my weakness), but it’s not readily available to everyone yet. I can’t visit the Three Broomsticks whenever my heart desires. I want to be able to roll into Publix and buy a gallon so I can have it at any given hour of the day.
3. Spray Food: If you watched Phil of the Future on Disney Channel, it was probably one of your favorite shows. And as much as I wanted to be friends with Phil and Keely, I equally wanted to have the spray food in my life. I can’t imagine how convenient it would be to be able to spray a can and immediately have brownies. Quite frankly, we need them invented immediately.
4. Lard Lad Donuts: I know, I know — you’re probably thinking that no one needs a donut that size. But realistically, think about how many donuts you eat when Krispy Kreme has made them fresh. There’s a pretty good chance that it’s more than one or two. If the Lard Lad Donuts existed, you’d only have to buy one to be happy.
5. The Capitol’s Pink Soup: Katniss Everdeen’s venture into The Capitol during The Hunger Games series provided us with descriptions of countless lavish dishes. One that was particularly intriguing was a pink soup that was described to be frothy with raspberries. I need follow-up information on this. What is this pink soup? What’s it made of? Would it be available in a can, or is it too fancy for that? I’m intrigued, and I need it in my life.
6. Three-Course Dinner Gum: Do you remember watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and being insanely jealous of everyone on the factory tour? While I wouldn’t mind sampling anything from there, I have to say I was especially curious about the gum that promised a three-course meal. It’d definitely be cool if that existed with different options based on the individual. Willy Wonka was onto something, and I think someone should follow up on it.
7. Scooby Snacks: Judge me all you want for this one, but I know I’m not the first to think it. If Shaggy enjoyed the Scooby Snacks, surely they had to be somewhat decent, right? I used to have the graham cracker equivalent in my lunch growing up, but I’d like to know what they would be like if they were the real deal.
8. JJ’s Diner Waffle: Okay, I get it. Waffles exist. But can I get one from Leslie Knope’s personal heaven, JJ’s Diner? I think not. Based on the amount of syrup, powdered sugar and whipped cream on the waffle, I can’t say it’d be the healthiest option but with Leslie’s stamp of approval, I trust they’d be delicious.
Now I’m not only more intrigued about these foods, but I’m also hungry. Is it too much to ask for all of these items show up in the grocery store tomorrow?
Photo credit: bing.com