Breakups happen, and they hurt. Whether you did the breaking up or you’ve been broken up with, it’s almost never easy. Regardless of which position you are in, adjusting to being single is going to be rough. You’re going to be lonely, and it’s going to be weird not having someone to always talk to and spend a lot of your free time with. There are ways to fight the loneliness that’ll come, and here are just a few of them.
1. Keep busy
The best way to keep yourself from mourning for too long is to get busy and stay busy. Throw yourself back into school if you were slacking in that sphere during your relationship. Start going to those club meetings you’ve been saying you want to go to. Read those books that have been sitting on your desk for the last three months.
2. Spend time with the broskies (or siskies? Drake, we need a word for girls, please)
Your girls are going to keep you grounded. They may be slightly resistant at first, whether it be because they don’t really know how you want them to approach you, or because maybe they’re kind of hurt by the fact that you might’ve put them on the back-burner during your relationship. Regardless though, they’ll be there for you. Fill the time that you would’ve spent with your SO with your girls, and maybe if you did put them on the back-burner – which happens sometimes, so don’t be too hard on yourself – just don’t do it the next time you’re in a relationship.
3. Don’t jump into something new
With that being said, don’t jump into something new just to fill the void of not having someone there at all times. It won’t help in the long run. Granted, it’ll help short-term because you won’t feel that loneliness, but you’ll get too accustomed to having someone around that you that won’t know what to do if/when the day comes where you don’t have someone again. Though you may think you’re emotionally ready to get into something new, chances are you aren’t; the emotions are still too raw.
4. Treat yourself
Use this time fresh out of a relationship to work on yourself. If you’re sad one day and want ice cream, get that pint and finish it. If you just want to drink some to numb your pain a little bit, do it, but don’t let it become a habit. If you want to get rid of every article of clothing your ex touched, go on that shopping spree, girl. Do whatever it is you feel you need to do, but keep in mind you’re not alone either.
5. Let your creativity flow
Whether your thing is photography, dancing, writing, painting or music, everyone has a creative outlet. Utilize that. Get your creativity flowing and express what you’re feeling through whichever art form suits you best. It’ll help the array of emotions that come after a breakup. Putting it on paper, on a canvas or on an SD card helps you get out of your head, and we all need that. It gets dark in there sometimes.
6. Don’t blame yourself
If someone doesn’t want to be with you, that’s their loss, not yours. It’s not something you did or didn’t do. It could be someone just needing something else in their life from their SOs. Or someone who’s missing something you need or want in a SO will come along, and it won’t be enough for you, and that’s okay. It happens. It’s not something to work yourself up over.
7. Just do you
We all have those things that our SOs would rather we not have or do, and relationships are about compromise, so we stop doing them or do them less. Once you no longer have a SO who would rather you not have or do that thing, you’re free to do whatever it is you want to do again, without having to compromise for someone. You should never give up something you enjoy, but if that happened during your relationship, now is the time to get back into it. Regardless, you can just do you again, and it’s lovely.
So, the loneliness is going to come, and you’re going to feel it. It’s okay to sulk in the sadness a bit; you need that mourning period. It helps you heal better in the long run. But once you feel like you’ve mourned enough, and it’s not helping anymore, it’s time to continue your healing with these seven things.