Trigger warning: Gender-based violence, rape, murder, femicide
We just remembered the one-year anniversary of the death of UCT student, Uyinene Mrwetyana. We remember the darkness that fell over our beloved campus, the fear of our students, and the cold feeling of realising the extent of gender-based violence (‘GBV’). Every day we are mourning, every day we are broken, and every day we face a justice system that fails us.
The prevalence of femicide, rape, and sexual assault does not need to be restated. Every three hours a womxn is murdered and 30 new cases of sexual assault is reported. Womxn, ranging from new-borns to elders, are routinely abducted, raped, and brutally killed. Some incidents make national headlines, while forgotten victims merely become a part of the statistics. With less than 4% of reported GBV-cases ever leading to convictions, it is now more important than ever for you to do your part in fighting GBV. You no longer have the luxury of scrolling by and being protected of knowing about the violence our womxn face. Here are a few things that YOU can do to help us fight GBV and protect our womxn
- Start by understanding rape culture
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You have definitely come across the hashtag #MenAreTrash. By this we do not mean that every single living man on the planet has raped or killed a womxn, absolutely not. What we mean is that all of them are guilty of promoting rape culture in some shape or form. They do this by making a sexist joke (or laughing at such jokes), by engaging in locker room talk about their sexual conquests, by commenting on womxn’s bodies, slut shaming womxn who are sexually active, catcalling, touching womxn inappropriately during friendly encounters (such as on their arms or lower backs), or simply by remaining silent when such comments and actions are made. Even the smallest gestures that might seem friendly and harmless can contribute to the prevalence of rape, simply because it contributes to the sexualisation of womxn. Educate yourself on this, but I have one simple rule for you to follow: Do not comment on womxn’s bodies or touch them without consent. It really is as simple as that. Do not stare at womxn and make them uncomfortable, do not make disgusting comments about a womxn’s bodies, do not body shame womxn, and do not engage in any conversation that sexualises womxn or demeans them in any way. It is 2020 folks; I do not understand why men are having a hard time grasping these simple concepts.
- Believe the survivor
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Womxn and children subjected to GBV face severe physical and psychological problems resulting from the violence they were subjected to. It is cruel to question a survivor when they share their stories. Questions like “What were you wearing?” or “Why were you drinking?” or “What were you doing walking alone?” are completely inappropriate to ask survivors. Instead, realign your thought process. Why did a man rape? Why did he take advantage of her? Why did he violate her human rights? It is never the fault of a survivor that they were subjected to GBV. We must shift the focus away from finding ways to blame our womxn, but instead to hold the men accountable for what they are: Rapists, murderers, and criminals. Yes, it is true that some womxn make false rape allegations. But that is in less than 1% of cases. You have nothing to lose by believing the survivor. Do you really want to side with a potential rapist?
- Educate and call out your family and friends
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Rape culture starts at home. If you allow someone to tell a sexist joke, they will understand that it is okay. Their jokes will get more offensive, then they will catcall womxn, and eventually they will think that groping and sexual assault is in order. We need to stop this problem at the roots. Yes, I know it is uncomfortable to call out your friend or reprimand your brother when they do things that promote rape culture. But keeping our womxn and children safe is quite frankly much more important than your comfort. Your silence does nothing to help survivors of sexual assault, in fact, your silence normalises the prevalence of GBV. If we speak up and call out behaviour that is inappropriate, we fight against the idea that womxn being raped and murdered is an ‘everyday thing’. You cannot be silent anymore. It is time to step up and do better.
- Volunteer and raise awareness
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There are many ways in which you can actively help fight against GBV. Donate to your local rape centre, volunteer your time, or even just share GBV-posts and information on your social media. It is time that everyone, including our men, take a stance of zero tolerance against GBV. Do your part. You can no longer be quiet.