me or plan on employing me in the future, please note that this is a joke and is written for comical reasons. Please don’t fire me, I love my job.
Ah, the joys of working in the service industry! What could be better than standing on blistered feet for 10 hours straight with a forced smile on your face, interacting with people who couldn’t care less about your well-being, getting paid minimum wage (or less!) and barely getting tipped! I kid, it’s not that bad. At least it’s not that bad all of the time. I am both an introvert and a raging pessimist so do take my criticisms of the industry with a grain of salt. I’ve had the misfortune of working as a server for the past two years and have accumulated many stories and life lessons. So, without further ado, are some things you can expect from working in the service industry.
1. You will not be seen as a human being
One of the most frustrating parts of working in restaurants is recognising that as long as I was working with customers, I was anything but a human person. This doesn’t apply to all customers of course – I’ve had some lovely customers who can see beyond my badge & uniform and realise that I am worthy of their polite manners. These lovely people are usually people who have worked in the service industry before and understand the struggle, or are people who are close to my age who empathise with my position. However, the majority of customers bring their negative attitudes and entitled schools of thought and make a habit out of making servers feel like less of a human being. When I’m working, I’m a server, I’m an extension of the restaurant I’m working for, I’m an emotional punching bag for those individuals who have had a bad day and need to take it out on someone. But a human person with emotions? No, that doesn’t seem to cross their minds.
Some valuable advice for working in this industry: if a customer is yelling at you and degrading you for all you’re worth, just start crying. When they see you cry it usually clicks for them that you are, in fact, just a young adult with emotions trying to earn some cash. It seems ridiculous that you have to break down in order for people to recognise your humanity, but hey, sometimes it’s needed. I got this advice from a former colleague of mine, and I can verify that it does work. Crying gains sympathy, and sometimes even earns you a large tip given out of pity. Use your tears wisely.
2. You will probably lose your faith in humanity
There are plenty of days on shift where I realise that almost every customer I’ve interacted with all day is completely brainless. I don’t mean to be rude, but I actually can’t believe some of the naïve, yet indiscreet behaviour that I have witnessed. There are just some things you cannot believe that you actually have to explain to grown adults. One of the most common things I find myself explaining (with incredible patience, might I add), are how if there are no tables available I am unable to make one appear out of thin air. A particularly notable moment was when I had to explain to a customer that because he had not yet paid the full cost of his bill, the bill was not in fact closed, and he was not yet off the hook. Someone even asked my once if our cutlery was edible, and when I said no, she asked me what would happen if she ate her cutlery. I wish I was joking.
One of my favourite server stories I’ve heard comes from internet celebrity Sarah Schauer (she/they) in their YouTube video of them reacting to weird service industry stories. In her time working as a bartender, she claims to have witnessed a woman spill her drink across the table and proceed to clean up this mess by wiping her infant child across the table, soaking up her alcoholic drink in her child’s babygrow. The sheer audacity of such an action is just crazy to me, but having worked in the service industry, it doesn’t surprise me at all.
3. The people you work with are almost as bad as the customers
You will have some fantastic co-workers that make your shifts bearable to endure, however you will also have some co-workers who you are convinced have been spawned from hell in order to make your life miserable and difficult. This will make you want to quit your job at any minor convenience. Sometimes these Satan-spawn workers come in the form of that person who can never take your shift when you need them to and who will always be passive aggressive to you. Sometimes it’s that one co-worker that’s low-key stalking you and will make unwanted advances towards you at every opportunity. Other times, it’s your boss that makes your blood boil every time you step into work. They will insist that you be respectful about their illegal and inhumane ways of running the business, and that your complaining be kept to a minimum because while you may have been standing for 10 hours, and helping bratty customers all day without a decent lunchbreak, at least you’re getting paid minimum wage! If you’re really lucky, you will have ALL of these people to work with all at once to really test your anger management and patience.
Let this not scare you away from working in the service industry though! Overall, it’s a very valuable experience that is very rewarding despite its challenges. I’m very grateful for all the life skills that I’ve learnt form working in restaurants, and I’m even more grateful for all of the insane stories that I have accumulated over the past two years that I share with my friends after each shift (and some stories, I’m sure, will make a fantastic screenplay one day, or will serve as a great gag in a future stand-up comedy show).