People do not usually notice things that don’t directly affect them, no matter how awful. That is to say, most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes and so it is unsurprising that people make assumptions about many things based on preconceived notions. Now, this is not a lecture, I am not preaching nor am I shaming (maybe a little bit) but it is important that you know you are part of the problem.
Yes, you.
See, on the 19th of March, Rainbow UCT had their first event (it was the moment!) and whilst I was there having a ball, I took the opportunity to interview people on their experiences as queer people at UCT. I would like to ask you, dearest reader, the same question. What is your experience as a queer person at UCT/what do you think the queer experience at UCT is?
I had the privilege of interviewing over 20 amazing people and while the LGBTQ+ community is diverse, sadly, the responses were not. Many people reported feeling less safe/comfortable on a day-to-day basis when they aren’t surrounded by people in the community, when they are walking on campus, waiting for jammies, getting off jammies, sitting in class, etc. No matter how free and confident a person may look do not assume you know their story. “Everyday it’s always put on your most intimidating fierce look and walk, but as much as I try to pay no mind there is always a part of me that’s like are they looking at me? Are they talking about me?”
Now how is this your fault?
Well, when these people were asked why they did not feel safe/comfortable, almost all of them said that they felt prejudged and profiled. They felt that they had to look a certain way in order to present a certain identity and its exhausting, so much so that a few people felt as though they started to “oppress themselves”. Too feminine, too masculine, too straight looking, too gay, not bi enough, not gay enough, not queer enough, the list goes on and it pains me to say that I too added to the list.
Sexual orientations and gender identities are not physical appearances – there is no one way to be any type of LGBTQ+ identity, there is no one size fits all and yet, people continue to make assumptions based on a persons’ appearance or demeanor. How do they make these assumptions? They use stereotypes practically drilled into their heads by society, social media, TV, movies, etc. Whether you admit it or not, chances are you’ve assumed a persons’ identity before. I only hope you know better now because the more people continue to make assumptions, the more they perpetuate these outdated stereotypes.
You may still be wondering why this is an issue, especially if all you’re doing is just thinking it in your head, and the answer is simple. It’s wrong. I obviously cannot tell you to stop thinking – that would be insane – I am however asking that you consider the person you are making assumptions about. You do not know for sure what they identify as, so it is disrespectful to just assume their sexuality. In many cases, you are not only assuming their sexuality but also their gender identity. Based on my findings, the LGBTQ+ community at UCT would appreciate not being profiled and put into boxes for your amusement. These assumptions and thoughts you think you hide so well can be so easily seen at times.
Many of us are skilled at knowing when we are being profiled because we’ve had to deal with it our entire lives. It was very clear from the interviews that people of color and transgender individuals had more bad experiences than good. “Sometimes I’m not sure whether I’m being profiled for being a person of color or for being queer, like are they racist or are they homophobic?” said a disappointed 2nd year, and that is the honest reality of most of the people of color in the LGBTQ+ community.
“Do not think that just because we are at UCT the LGBTQ+ community are safe. I am thankful for all UCT has done but make no mistake, the queer people at this university are the ones who do the real work to make it inclusive. There is much work to be done.”
So, what is the queer experience at UCT? Well, depending on who you are the answer may be different, but for many of us it is difficult to say the least. For me, it is fearing I will stumble into the wrong crowd on my way to the Jammie stop, hoping that I look feminine enough to not be misgendered and praying that I make it back to my room at the end of the day unharmed both physically and emotionally.
PS. All quotes are anonymous as promised and thank you to all the people who allowed me to interview them. I truly enjoyed talking to each and every one of you.