Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Amelia Kramer-Coffee Shop Date Booke Glasses Latte Cozy
Amelia Kramer-Coffee Shop Date Booke Glasses Latte Cozy
Amelia Kramer / Her Campus

The Beginner’s Guide to Solo Dates

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCT chapter.

Self-love. Self-care. Self-acceptance. It is the era of ‘self’, and what better way to practice giving attention to ‘self’ than taking yourself out on a date. As daunting as the idea of going out all alone may seem, the experience is absolutely worth it. The first few solo dates you go on might be awkward or feel weird, but the more you go, the more you’ll get comfortable and have a great time.

Why should you go out on a solo date?

Dates shouldn’t be reserved for others only. The idea behind solo dates, besides getting to ‘date’ yourself, is that you deserve to treat yourself too. You shouldn’t wait for someone else to treat you.

One of the benefits, and arguably the most important one, is that you get to connect with yourself. Dates are all about getting to know a person and forming a relationship with them. There should not be an exception when it comes to yourself. Through such dates, you get to have a slowed one-on-one with your thoughts in a different and more relaxed environment. They offer an opportunity to recollect your thoughts, think more clearly about your life, and reminisce on some of your best moments if you wish to. You get to live and be present in the moment. You’re able to take in the scenery of your surroundings because your attention is on yourself and the moment you find yourself in.

They are an opportunity to be a tad adventurous and try out new things. If there’s a cute little place you’ve been wanting to check out but have no one to go with, that’s an opportunity to take yourself out. If you wait on people to avail themselves for you, you end up working on their schedules or you might just wait forever! So solo dates help offset your independence too.

They also help boost your self-confidence because they require an “I can do it by myself” attitude. And the reality is, you can go out by yourself and have a great time at your desired activity of the day.

Solo date ideas

  1. Eat out – my favourite dates are the ones where I get to eat. I prefer taking myself out for breakfast or brunch at cute and vibrant cafés. Cafés are small, cosy and have a sense of comfort attached to them. It’s easier to be in a café alone than it is to be in a big restaurant without feeling a tad intimidated by your surroundings. So, if you’re quite reserved, shy and/or just starting out, I would recommend a café. But if your self-confidence is already sky-high, by all means, go to a nice restaurant!
  2. Go to the movies – movies are a wonderful escape and easy to pull off by yourself. Afterall, you can’t be making conversation during a screening! So, who best to take to the movies than yourself! They offer a time-out where focus is solely on the movie and the experience of ‘going out’. You’ll find that you notice more than you would have had you stayed home and watched the same movie.
  3. Picnics – a picnic in a public space all by yourself sounds like an intimidating scenario. However, the nice part about this scenario, as with all others, is that everyone is minding their own business. And like a café, picnic spaces tend to have a certain comfort about them. You just need to find a nice quiet space to sit by yourself and take in the beauty of nature around you while you nibble on your favourite snacks.
  4. Spa date – probably the most relaxing date you could ever take yourself out on! Spa dates fixate you on good energy and positive thoughts and are the least intimidating solo date idea.

There’s a lot more to do but since most people prefer to start out small, these are good suggestions for starting out.

Making the most of your date

First things first, you need to put in the same effort (or more) that you would have if you were going out with someone because, ultimately, you’re going out with the most important person in your life- you! So put together a nice outfit, smell nice and just look cute. They say if you look good, you feel good, and you need to feel good if you want to have a great time.

Secondly, if you think that going out by yourself would look/feel/be weird and you wouldn’t know what to do with all that time, you could bring a little something to keep you busy with. I suggest bringing a book to read, your journal, your diary so you can plan your schedule for the following day/week, a crossword puzzle, or your drawing book. You could also scroll down your socials although I strongly advise against that. Remember, this is a great opportunity to cut out screen time and to be in a different setting with yourself. And although you could bring stuff to keep you busy with, it shouldn’t be hectic stuff and they shouldn’t take away from the “me time” that you’re especially there for. So just get in tune with yourself and the environment you find yourself in and you’ll get to notice the small, beautiful things and moments that we usually miss out on because we’re too busy or too focused on those we’re with.

If you keep on solo dating, you’ll ultimately get to the point whereby your date is a day of doing absolutely nothing but the activity you’re there for and feel comfortable in your own presence within a public space. They epitomise the era of “self”, have great benefits and the date idea is completely up to you! No compromising.

BSocSci graduate. Majored in Social Development and Politics & Governance| Liker of wholesome content| Optimistic| Finding comfort in failing and getting back up again because it's not over until it's over| Aspiring to be a versatile writer.