Growing up and leaving behind phases of your life can be daunting. Coming to university is the big jump everyone always tells you about. However, this jump is made even harder by the heavy weight of people’s expectations regarding your life and career. The workload will be intense and essays will not be based on regurgitation of Hamlet’s lack of action. Instead, they will reach a new level with proper arguments and references required.
Something I don’t think is spoken about enough is how friendships, that lasted years, are going to change. Don’t get me wrong, some will change for the better and will stay constant in your life. But, coming to university presents the opportunity to meet completely new people from diverse backgrounds (and, for me, to finally see more than just ‘females’ on the daily #singlesexschoollife). Personally, the most difficult part was coming to the realization that some friendships are not meant to last as long as you thought they would. And that is okay! We are all figuring out who we want to be, what our passions are and they may not align with our friend’s new lives.
However, being okay with something and rationalizing it in your mind by no means lessens the pain of losing something that was so dear to you. In true That’s So Raven fashion, I am writing a letter to the person who has been in my life for a long time. Maybe this resonates with someone else who has the same sorts of feelings. I want everyone to know that these things happen for a reason and you will meet people who will assist in your metamorphosis into the next phase of your life. Reflecting back on this friendship has caused me to see the cracks it that had, but by the same token I find myself nostalgic and missing them.
Dear Friend-turned-acquaintance,
I remember the day I knew this chapter of my life was coming to a close. It was a gesture. Small but impactful. It truly hurt, because I already knew the conclusion to our story. I was talking to you, relaying something I thought was important when you extended your finger on your right hand to silence me, to listen to something someone new was saying in passing. For some reason this moment has wedged itself into my mind and still softly radiates pain even to this day. I think it stung because I expected you, in a world full of strangers, to be the one person to listen to me. I think it stung because you had become a sister to me. I think it stung because I had always listened to what you had to say.
We have grown separately, but we have grown. I want to thank you for being around and for making me laugh even when I was sad. I want to thank you for being a child with me and bursting into tears with laughter over just a word we both found hilarious. I want to thank you for sharing your pretzels with me, for caring for me. Thank you for the paragraph-length birthday messages, even though they turned into three word phrases. Thank you for the random texts and pictures-turned-silence. Thank you for being in my life for the time that you did.
I know that when I think of our friendship I will think of moments of happiness. I am aware that you have influenced the way I move through the world in some small way. You have helped me to grow and to see what I enjoy doing. Simply hanging out on the grass, chatting about our problems, the future, dreaming big. Yet I am content having had the years that I did with you. With the good comes the bad, and through these times I have learnt from you. I have learnt not to let friends belittle goals I set for myself, even small goals. Most importantly I have realised that I am worth being listened to.
I miss you and I always want the best for you.
Your Friend-turned-acquaintance,
Ashiqa