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The One: An Unrealistic, Unromantic Idea

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSD chapter.

We want to believe in the idea of “The One” because it is comfortable and simple. We want to believe that someone out in the world is waiting for us and somehow, at the right moment, time, and place this person will magically show up and everything will be perfect. “The One” implies that there is a person that is made for us. In this scenario, partners do not have to work for the relationship because it should be perfect. You do not have to work, grow, and struggle for the relationship to flourish. Even though I consider myself a hopeless romantic, I do not believe in the idea of “the one”. Ask yourselves, what happens when your current partner does not turn out to be “The One”?

What happens when he/she cheats, treats you badly, disrespects you, or  isn’t ready? We may want to stick around this person because weare so convinced that he/she is “the one”; this results in unhappiness from being with somebody who does not live up to your standards. When this person is not loving towards you every day and is not treating you in the way that you deserve, leave him/her. He/she is not “the one”. 

We tend to jump from one relationship to another because we have an idea of a perfect relationship. I believe that this type of relationship simply does not exist. I believe relationships are built, not found; Relationships that are built through effort are extremely romantic. When two people stick together, look out for one another, struggle together, and work for their relationship, that is what I find romantic.

The process of finding a new love is romantic: Someone may have broken up with us, cheated on us, or may no longer exist, but we are capable of going out and finding happiness and love again with a different person. We do not have to worry about the previous relationship that failed because we have the ability and the opportunity to meet someone new and be happy again. 

Leonor Donayre is a senior at the University of California San Diego. She is double majoring in Social Inequality and Political Science while also pursuing a minor in psychology. In addition to writing for Her Campus, Leonor is an active member of Alpha Omicron Pi Sorority and a writing tutor. Leonor believes that determination, hard work, and confidence are tools that lead to a path of success.
Jasmine is currently a senior at the University of California, San Diego. She is pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a minor in Education Studies. Jasmine is the Co-Campus Correspondent for Her Campus UCSD, along with the amazing Taylor Zepeda. Jasmine spends most of her time volunteering at low socioeconomic status elementary schools across the San Diego county and grading papers for classes she is a Teacher's Assistant in. Novel wise, she is an avid fan of Edith Wharton and the Lord of the Rings series. She also loves comedic shows like New Girl and The Big Bang Theory, but also enjoys thrillers like Criminal Minds. One of Jasmine's favorite hobbies is trying foods of different cultures; she loves visiting cultural nights and community festivals. Above all, Jasmine worships Beyonce (a.k.a. Beysus, Queen Bee, Baeyonce, etc). Her future aspiration in life is to become the Secretary of Education and have the Hov and B over for dinners.