“The more you do, the more you start to love it, and then you become as crazy invested as I’ve become, then you start to live and breathe Theta Tau.”
Tyler Day, a fourth year student at UCSD, is the President of UCSD’s Theta Tau Co-Ed Professional Fraternity. Sitting in a casual button-up plaid shirt and jeans, Tyler’s energetic and optimistic demeanor goes beyond simply running a selective professional fraternity on campus. As an aspiring engineer, Tyler has watched Theta Tau grow as he has, from being a pledge to now being the president. As I spoke to Tyler about Theta Tau, I learned that the fraternity was more than just a group of people with similar career paths. The more he’s become involved, the more he has grown to love it.
“You just get to learn things about people down at a deeper level – that every person you meet has the potential to be someone you could be really close to.”
Besides living and breathing Theta Tau, Tyler has shown me that he has so many goals for the fraternity as a whole. When he’s not in meetings, Tyler is a part-time student who is also involved in other organizations, holds a research position, works over 30 hours a week, and writes music – everything from classical full orchestra scores to covers like Disney’s “Let It Go.” After listening to Tyler rave about Theta Tau and how it really represents him, I continuously saw his sincere passion for not only his leadership roles, but for simply being able to connect with every single member on a personal level.
Can you tell me a little bit about Theta Tau?
I would definitely say that for me, Theta Tau has been one of the most defining experiences I’ve ever had in college, I’ve been in it since freshman year. I don’t have any little brothers, but now I have two littles, Branden Hui and Andrew Sie. It really is one large, dysfunctional family. I really can’t imagine going through college without them.
What is the purpose of Theta Tau?
The actual purpose, as said by nationals, is a long boring purpose. I think beyond that really boring purpose, it’s a fraternity that is aimed at a lot of the personal growth of its members. Basically, what we do is that we provide a balanced experience for everyone who is in the organization. We create a diverse and unique purpose for each person; there are no defining characteristics. As a result you have a very accepting environment — even if you’re really weird or awkward, everyone is embraced. Not everyone has to be a bro, the only thing we’ve done that is bro is buying tank tops for Rush. I like tank tops.
How has Theta Tau been different for you, now that you are the president?
I think the biggest change that happened is that I’ve been a lot more conscious of what I say and do. During meetings, in front of pledges, any decision-making process about what we do, I want to let others speak. Before I’d always express my opinion, but now it’s more about getting everyone else’s opinion heard. I’ve learned that as the President, your voice can overshadow others. I want everyone else’s voice to be heard. A lot of people already respect my opinion, and I now have become a lot more involved with the big picture. The goal is to let everyone get what they want from the fraternity. I want it to be inclusive – the new members should feel just as welcomed as the old members.
How did you gain this respect from people?
I’ve pretty much just been a bad-ass ever since I’ve joined. I think it started with my pledge process: we only had three people. I can’t really go into details, super secret frat stuff, but most people in my fraternity say it’s absolutely ridiculously that the three of us were put through the process. This was the first stepping stone, and then from then on, it was just being a member who was always in the forefront. I’ve always been someone who is trying to help out and be involved. I’ve been the pledge instructor of the fraternity, and the treasurer – who has the power of the purse, so I had everyone in my pocket! After putting the fraternity in the right direction, everything else just kind of fell into place. In summary, just whenever I do things, I don’t just make decisions. I try to make sure that the right things happen. I’ve always tried to get other peoples’ voices out there. I also just really like to party, I don’t know if that’s important but people seem to like that.
Why did you initially decide to join Theta Tau?
It’s ironic, I actually hated frats before coming to UCSD. My two older brothers were in frats, and I always saw them partying and thought it was ridiculous. It’s funny because one of my brothers and my dad are both actually Theta Tau alumni. My dad told me to go check it out when I came to college, and I basically kind of did it to humor him. What hooked me was the people. Engineers tend to be seen as socially awkward people, but the people I met were really outgoing, really cool, and really different. They seemed to have things together in their engineering-life, and they had this strong professional presence. Everything else just followed naturally.
What are some of the greatest things you’ve learned from Theta Tau?
I think first and foremost, no matter what you do in college — I think Theta Tau embodies this actually — what you get out of something is directly proportional to what you put into it. Everyone who has come out to do things for Theta Tau has instantly gotten hooked. The more you do, the more you start to love it, and then you become as crazy invested as I’ve become — then you start to live and breathe Theta Tau. Another thing would be that Theta Tau has taught me the value of individuals. In high school, I was a drum major for 150-200 people. Coming to UCSD and getting scaled down to only 50 people in the frat, I definitely realized that I had to take the time and get to know everyone in the frat — we have conversations deeper than you would expect. You just get to learn things about people down at a deeper level, and every person you meet has the potential to be someone you could be really close to. Another thing would be to not take yourself too seriously. I’m the president, but I like to have a lot of fun, I like cursing, I like making jokes. I like making sure that people have fun. There is a lot of serious stuff that goes down in frats, but it’s always good to remember that we are in college and we are here to have fun. There’s a time to work, and there’s a time to play. Theta Tau is that place, and the fraternity definitely showed me that.
What is your favorite memory from Theta Tau?
That’s really hard. There are so many good memories, I always hate this question. There are a few key moments that I’ve had though.
The first one would be when I crossed and became a brother. My pledging quarter really just sucked. It was really hard, really emotional, and honestly it was because we only had three people. When I crossed though, it was probably in the high 70’s out, I was wearing my letters on this thick hoodie, and even though I was sweating my balls off, I just had so much pride that I made it. I wanted to show my letters off everyday.
A second memory would be getting both of my littles. For Branden, he started out as a little freshman, but I love him to death. I picked him up the first quarter I was active — he was really an anchor for me to stay in Theta Tau. This was the first time I could actually be a big brother, and be an influence on someone. I honestly don’t think I was ready for it. I think I did okay though because now he’s the president! It’s really exciting to see someone grow up like that; he’s going to be a fourth year next year. For Andrew, it’s different since I already had a little. But it was the level on which we connected — we connected on a friend level. A lot of people thought Andrew was really awkward, but we just clicked. I always feel like I can rely on Andrew, and now that he’s active, he really is living out of his shell. I’m pretty scatter-brained and I can get pretty invested in topics, so it’s nice to have someone who’s very grounded. He’s one of those people who is always like “Everything is going to be okay, stop freaking out,” and that’s very valuable to me.
I feel like there are so many other memories, but honestly every time we go to Regionals comes to mind. Chapters come out from all over — it’s basically one huge conference. It shows how Theta Tau is not just concentrated at UCSD, but is spread out all around the nation.
Oh! Another favorite. This sounds really small and insignificant, but we did a Theta Tau Thanksgiving, Iron Chef style. The way it worked was that we picked four ingredients out of a hat, we got beer, taro, bacon, and chicken hearts. Everyone was super pissed at that because, really, why would you put chicken hearts in there? I was thinking, “Who buys chicken hearts?” But in the end, we made these beer-battered, bacon-wrapped chicken hearts, which actually turned out pretty good! After that we made a beer cake with this homemade chocolate frosting, which won best dish of the night. It’s my secret weapon. The thing I liked the most about this was that everyone got so into it. Everyone pulled all their friends together, met at 10am, and made mashed taro. That was actually really gross. It’s now a tradition, which is great because I also really like food.
Do you believe TT has helped you decide your future career path?
I think Theta Tau helped me with my career, since it definitely made me finally figure out what I wanted to do. Some eople say that they are leaders and followers, but usually people say that you can be both. What Theta Tau showed me was that I can’t be a follower. For me, I want to do a PhD, and I want to be in control of what I do. I want to be sure of what I do, what I’m studying. I don’t want to be one of those countless lab-pipet-monkeys who takes some orders from a higher up. Theta Tau helped me narrow this down.
Secretly, I’m pretty much a rebel. Whenever I get told to do something, my first instinct is to not do it. Which is actually pretty bad, and when you work with a lot of people, you usually should listen to them, too. It’s just never too good when I’m ordered to do something. I learned to be accommodating by working with people in Theta Tau. What usually happens is I always think, “Nope, not going to do it,” but then my head is like, “Hey personality, calm down.”
How do you balance a position of leadership with other aspects of you life?
If you ask anyone in Theta Tau, they will always say that I have amazing time management skills. I am also the VP of Finance for another club, Engineering World Health, and I am an undergraduate advisor, or TA. I am also an undergraduate researcher at Stein Clinical Research Center – which is really why I’m also a part-time student.
Do you have any advice for other students juggling roles of leadership with school?
I just have some weird rules that I follow pretty strictly.
1. If there is an open spot in your schedule, it can be filled with something.
2. If it is filled with something, that something stays there, you don’t change it.
3. You take things one day at a time. I procrastinate like no other, but you can take things in much smaller chunks in order to make your life easier.
When you’re not focused on any type of TT stuff, what do you like to do in your free time?
Free time, what’s that? Haha! But I think for me, the first and foremost thing I would do is definitely play music. I play piano; I’m self-taught. Music is one of the things that helps me de-stress and get away from everything else. I also write music in my spare time! I compose for piano and full orchestra or pop bands. I actually write some songs for my frat for performances, too. There’s actually a version of “Let It Go” that I wrote, that will probably be posted on YouTube. I might be starting a YouTube channel, so look out for my sheet music there. I play League of Legends, and I love Nintendo, Mario, Zelda, BioShock, and anything with a good story really. If you’ve ever seen Hot Rod…my name is Tyler and I love to party. I love going out with friends and I love to have fun. If I have free time, I do whatever I want, because this is America and I should always be free!
So, why did you really decide to take up all these leadership roles?
I think there’s a story I could tell that explains a lot. I’m going to tell you why I’m addicted to people, which is a really weird way to put it, but it’s okay. I have a strong desire to be around people at all times — I will always step up, I’m really extroverted. I always feel like I need to start contacting people and have social interaction at all times. Okay so, from birth to the age of 12, I’ve actually lived in six different states. I was born in Wisconsin, so I really like cheese, and I know how to cook bratwurst — I can cook a mean bratwurst. After that, I lived in Virginia, New York, Georgia – segregation is real there – Illinois, and all over California. I grew up being very lonely, which is why I think I’m very addicted to people now. I never really and the same friends growing up because we moved around so much, and it really forced me to make new friends very quickly. A lot of the loneliness really stuck with me for a really long time, to such a degree that I don’t like being by myself for long amounts of time — maybe that sounds kind of crazy, I guess. But instead of looking as something that is negative, I’ve used it to become one of my strengths. I gained social skills very quickly early on in childhood, and that has helped me out for the rest of my life. I always want to step out of my comfort zone, and it’s easy for me to make new friends. I’m pretty comfortable making friends with people who aren’t really outgoing too, or not very popular. Some of my best friends are some of the most introverted people I’ve ever met.
Random fact?
I love dogs. I’ve had dogs my whole life. Right now I have Grace, who is my yellow lab, she is like my little sister — she really has a personality. I’m serious though, she will actively talk to me at times — I think I’m going crazy. But I’ve had dogs basically my whole life, and I will definitely get a dog in the future. I will have a Corgi named Enis. I’m going to dress him up, and just force him to sit there and be like, “I dressed up my Enis.” It will be hilarious! A little Corgi named Enis. It’s about the little things like that, it brings a smile to your face.