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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSC chapter.

So here’s the thing about guilty pleasures. I don’t have many of them, and even if I did have quite a few guilty pleasures, that information would be limited to a very select group of individuals. As a result, of the few guilty pleasures that I do have, I try to keep to myself, and for good reason too. 

I remember once my boyfriend (then just a casual fling) saw a Wattpad notification on my phone, and just assumed I was a Wattpad writer, much to my obliviousness. When we started dating, a month or two later, I felt comfortable enough to admit to him that I was a Wattpad user, he said HE ALREADY KNEW!!!!! AND I WAS MORTIFIED!!!!!

He never lets me live it down. 

As a result, I’m a bit secretive about the more embarrassing aspects of my personality. For one, my music taste is quite questionable. Yes, I am a Swiftie, and no, I am not ashamed of that, but I am ashamed that I never quite grew out of my One Direction phase 🧍🏽‍♀️. I’m a little bit ashamed that I perform my PR’s at the gym while listening to “Boyfriend” by Big Time Rush.

But I’m most embarrassed about listening to Kanye West and Travis Scott.

Awful personalities aside, I think there’s something almost shameful about admitting that I like these artists. For Kanye, it’s that I’m a basic girl who is impressed by the most basic bars. It means that I’m associated with Kanye and his awful “Closed on Sunday / You my Chick-Fil-A”. Like really???? I was impressed by that? (The answer is no, because I haven’t been impressed by Kanye since Ye.)

For Travis Scott…it’s goofy, and it’s not even like I’m only fond of one or two songs. Like no. I literally have that man’s entire discography memorized and I listen to it frequently. 

As for Kanye, well, I’ve been a huge fan of his since high school, and he hasn’t dropped from my Top 5 Spotify artists in several years. 

I’m not quite sure why it’s so embarrassing to admit that I like these artists. Does it perhaps detract from the character I think I’ve built for myself? Since I listen to artists who make sh*tty apology videos and threats towards their ex-wife’s new boyfriend, does that mean that my character is morally gray?

I honestly don’t know the answer, but I think I can say for certain that the shame I feel is at least correlated with the fact that I think they’re not great people. Therefore, while I might have to work on my shame regarding Wattpad (cause that’s literally so stupid, who cares if I’m a Wattpad writer?), my shame about Travis Scott and Kanye West has its place. And, until they prove to be at least slightly decent people, it will remain that way.

My name is Ashti (she/her), I am currently an undergraduate History of Asia and the Pacific major with an Education minor at UCSC.