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Home Invasion: A Thread

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92) 

omg you guys I’m cackling I just remembered this crazy story from my childhood that I just had to share with y’all, get ready for a long ass thread

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

so one morning my parents and I all get up and go on our daily walk, as usual, nothing out of the ordinary there. my mom usually made our porridge before the walk so that we could just eat right when we got back

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

we walked for about 20 minutes, which was longer than usual because my mom wanted to show us a new route by some berry bushes (lol) but then we get home, and my dad, being the hungry boi that he is, goes straight for his bowl

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

He was like, “SOMEONE’S BEEN EATING MY PORRIDGE! 🤬🤬🤬” my mom goes over and is a little annoyed bc he tends to get angry about little things like this but then she ALSO goes “SOMEONE’S BEEN EATING MY PORRIDGE TOO! 😲😨😱”

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

so I go over to look at mine but MY porridge was totally gone like wtf and I was like bruh did someone seriously deviously lick my porridge

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

actually I was really little so I think I said smth more like “someone’s been eating mY porridge, and has eaten mine all up!” 😭😭😭

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

this is all pretty freakin weird but then my dad notices that his chair cushion is on the ground so he yells “soMEONE’S BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!!” like,, he was MAD mad

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

then my mom’s chair is kinda squashed and messed up so SHE goes “someone has been sitting in MY chair!” then much to my dismay I realized that my chair was literally broken in pieces on the floor 😐

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

Still messes me up to this day,, rocking chair my beloved you will b missed,,,

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

so this is obviously very concerning as we had a literal home invader in our house who ate our porridge and sat in all our chairs, so we started looking around the house to see if we could find them

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

then when we went to the bedroom. it was obvious someone had been sleeping in my dad’s bed, like how messed up is that-

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

He seemed to think so too as he screamed “SOMEONE HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED” and then my mom went “SOMEONE has been sleeping in MY bed!” all huffy like, because yes, her bed got slept in too somehow

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

I looked over at my bed,, I was beginning to sense a pattern here lmfao

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

and then wtf there was some girl sleeping there. MAJOR bruh moment 

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

And then this b woke up and saw us and started running tf away… it was like, dangg she a runner she a track star

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

I kid you not she jumped out the freakin window and then we never saw or heard of her ever again

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

Oh for some reason I remember that my dad wanted to hunt her down and eat her but my mom promised him extra berries in his porridge if he stayed so he was like ok fine

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

Anyway this was so funny,, looking back it feels like a fever dream

Baby Bear (@LilBabyBear92)

But I never told you guys how I remembered,, I only remembered everything because I saw her mugshot in the paper this morning LMFAOOOOO apparently her name is Goldilocks?? lame name imo but no one asked me so…

Alison Sun (she/her/hers) is a second-year Computer Science major (for now) at UCSC who tries her best to be a bright and sunny presence to those around her every day. When she's not toiling over Python, you can find her bullet journaling, rereading her favorite romance novels, or dancing to Twice's "Fancy" at her desk. If you're reading this, she would like to remind you to go drink some water.
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