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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSC chapter.

In the summer of 2019 I had a summer fling with a guy I met while doing an internship in China. We decided to do a long distance relationship (LDR) since we lived in diff countries and were together for around four months. We were literally so in love with each other it was kind of gross. Anyway, I dumped him because I was going to college the next year and he was going into mandatory military enlistment. I felt really bad because he cried and then I ghosted him and haven’t spoken to him since. Guilt has been eating me up inside for like a year and a half. Should I just apologize or leave it be?

Let’s unpack this. It sounds like this was definitely a tough situation to be in and breaking up must’ve been difficult. Feeling guilt means that you recognize something went wrong, so you need to act on this feeling and confront the situation. Since this is still bothering you, you should definitely address it head-on and apologize. Leaving it be will allow your guilt to keep festering and only make the problem worse. It will most likely be super uncomfortable and awkward, and he may or may not be receptive to hearing you out since he might still feel hurt. Nevertheless, 

explain that you now realize that ghosting him wasn’t the right decision and give him a genuine apology where you accept responsibility for what you did. Overall, let him know how you honestly feel. Depending on how the conversation goes, be prepared for a potentially negative reaction from him. All in all, it’s better to do something than do nothing in this situation. Best of luck, you got this!


How do you tell your parents they need therapy?

This is definitely a tricky situation to navigate, but it’s great that you want to help your parents. First and foremost, be sure to approach them from a position of love, empathy and concern. Also, be strategic about when to bring the topic up based on how you know your parents react. Next, explain clearly why you want them to seek help as it’s important to provide a rationale for why you recommend seeking therapy. Consider sharing how them not seeking therapy affects you. While seeking therapy is ultimately their choice, understanding how they affect you might be key in them realizing how urgent this issue is. Also consider sharing your experiences with counseling, if any, to help further destigmatize therapy and mental health while also and creating an open dialogue between you and your parents. I’m wishing you all the best, and I hope everything goes well.


Disclaimer: Questions have been edited for clarity. As always, I’m in no way an expert. The above advice is just from my own perspective, and this is how I would give advice to a friend. So, results may vary. 

Howdy! I'm Jackie, and I'm a third-year History and Politics double major and Education minor at UCSC. I'm also the Events Director of HerCampus at UCSC. In my free time, I enjoy reading, knitting, listening to 80's music, and squirrel-watching!