As I am sitting with my roommate and waiting for our bus to come, I can’t help but notice other college students passing by us, talking about their weekend plans and recent purchases. We look at each other, clearly thinking the same thing; we can’t afford any of the things they talk about. I am intrigued, but at this point in my college life, relatively unfazed. We share a laugh, shake our heads, resume our previous conversation and go on with our day. However, I can’t help but be reminded of what I went through my first year, and the shock I felt hearing my peers talk about their lives for the first time.
Before we go any further, I must first say that I am in no way trying to shame anyone for their backgrounds, nor am I trying to appear ungrateful or seem like I am not acknowledging my own privileges. The circumstances that we are born into are completely out of our control and should not be used to judge anyone or be taken lightly. I am merely saying that we all are accustomed to our own ways of life, and often do not consider that others live a certain way until we enter our young adult life. It can be disorienting at times, and can make for uncomfortable conversations.
To put things into perspective, I grew up with the same kids from elementary school all the way through high school. This is probably an experience that a lot of us had. We grew accustomed to this routine without even knowing it. Going away for college and being surrounded by completely different people was going to be a shock regardless, and one that I thought I was ready for.
But nothing could have prepared me for the shock I felt when listening to the other students. They were bonding over their favorite countries to travel to, their favorite foods and restaurants, their hobbies and their favorite ways to pass the time. Meanwhile, I was even not familiar with half of the things they were talking about. Neither I nor the people in my class had anything in common, and so I stayed quiet. When they asked me if I agreed, and I could not, it was clear that it made everyone uncomfortable.
You see, growing up with the same people meant we all had similar backgrounds and experiences. And to put it simply, as you could probably already surmise, none of us were exactly wealthy. But I’ve never felt like I was missing out on anything. Even now, I am still grateful for everything I have. Although we never stopped to notice it before, our upbringing was one that was uniquely ours. It was all we knew. Obviously, this was not the case in college anymore. But there is no doubt that the people I was meeting must have felt, on some level, similarly towards me. Because as I have never met anyone like them, they have also never met anyone like me. This revelation was eye opening, albeit shocking.
I feel compelled to add that, while a bit uncomfortable at first, my peers were quick to change the subject. They insisted that I must visit those places and try those things out one day, and then moved on to another conversation that included everyone. They were nothing but kind to me, and it was the only time that I remember feeling left out.
I suppose it’s all just a part of the college experience, though. It is the first taste many of us get of real life. It’s good to remind ourselves that there is no universal upbringing or childhood. These are circumstances that definitely shape and form a person, but should not and do not limit them. We are more than the circumstances with which we grew up in.