There comes a pivotal point in each and every one of our lives where all of our expectations and beliefs come crashing down.
The first time this happened to me, it was the night before Easter as a young child. I prepared to fall asleep: ready for the Easter bunny’s visit in the wee hours of the morning, and ready to awake to tiny Easter eggs filled with goodies, hidden in the nooks and crannies of my home. I bade my parents good night for the evening, and as I leaned in to hug them, I smelled chocolate on their breath. Suddenly, everything began to unravel, as I realized that my parents were the Easter bunny, and that they had been snacking on chocolates before filling up the plastic eggs. Soon after they came clean about the Easter bunny and its lack of existence, I began to question my belief in Santa Claus…
Point blank, having all that I believed in as a child disintegrate was not only a shock, but it sucked. I wish that I could find a more tasteful way of describing the feeling, but in reality it straight up sucked. I bring up this incident, a bit comical now, in reference to a similar occurrence throughout the start of my college years- the act of romanticization.
If you have ever heard the Western idiom, “Seeing the world through rose-colored glasses”, you’ll be familiar with romanticization. The saying lends itself to the daily idealization that we as humans all tend to take part in, embellishing what might otherwise be a monotonous event. Whether this embodies detailing your future cottage nestled within the Italian countryside, or imagining life in a penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park, this idealization is not as harmless as you think it might be.
Don’t get me wrong, imagining that you are in a luxurious cafe while drinking your morning coffee is as glamorous as it is thrilling. I certainly find myself guilty of this imagination while I sip cheap instant coffee packets on early college mornings. As I taste the bitter coffee, I shut my eyes and imagine that the sound of hungover students throwing up day-old mixed drinks outside my window is the gentle hum of city chatter. However, throughout my early years in university, I have come to realize that my romanticization of not only my day-to-day life, but my future life, was warping my view of the world around me.
Although it is not something I am proud to admit, I spend far too much time watching shows such as Sex and the City; the chic lifestyles of Carrie Bradshaw and her entourage in late 1990’s New York inspiring me to follow suit one day. I find myself thinking, “Oh, once I graduate, I’ll move to the city for a while, work as a journalist, and channel my inner Samantha Jones while I’m at it.” Shows such as Gilmore Girls furthered this idea, in which I set my prospects on becoming a writer out of college, and living an idealized life that I had constructed to the most finite detail in my mind- I had gone as far as creating Pinterest boards of how I planned on decorating my future home, whether it was in a cottage in the countryside, or an apartment in the city.
Yet, in all of this romanticizing, I had lost sight of the most important thing- reality. Questions such as “How do I plan on achieving this dream life?” never crossed my mind, which instead, was littered with thoughts of the destination, overlooking the challenging steps that it would take to get there.
Coming into college served as a reality check. The ideas of a career, internships, rent, and a lifetime of networking ahead of me began to remove agency from my dream, as I started to realize the sheer amount of work that accomplishing these goals would take. Not only did I feel behind the curve in comparison to my fellow peers, but I also felt as if I had idealized my future life to the point of exhaustion. When I began to imagine my future, it almost felt suffocating, as the picturesque life I hoped to live one day was slowly slipping out of reach. As I learned the hard way: romanticization is romantic, up until it isn’t anymore.
This may leave readers in an uncomfortable place, but this is the part of the article where I assure you- there is light at the end of this rose-colored tunnel.
While it can be invigorating to daydream our troubles away, it can be even more exciting to begin to forge your own future in a meaningful way. For me, this meant setting less time aside for romanticization, and more time to the actual “doing.” Although it was nice to escape to my perfectly designed penthouse on Pinterest, I found it much more heartening to apply myself to my studies and passions, and actually begin to take my future by the reins and steer it myself. In doing so, this dream began to feel like a tangible goal that I was working towards, and less of a fabricated idea that I could escape into when I shut my eyes.
Now I urge you, continue adding images to your romanticized pinterest boards, and please, enjoy an episode of Sex and the City from time to time. However, when we begin to handle our daily romanticization with care, we will find that the future begins to look that much brighter. If you save wearing those rose-colored glasses for the times that you actually need them, it’ll make the mundanities of daily life feel that much more magical.