As I’m sure many people can relate to, I had very overprotective parents growing up. There were a lot of things I didn’t get to experience growing up. I’ve spent a lot of my college days wondering what I’ve missed out on in favor of appeasing my parents. The fear of upsetting or disappointing my parents dictated most of my decisions and kept me from doing a lot of things I might have enjoyed. Maybe the differences in experience aren’t as significant as I think they are, but the thing is, I’ll never actually know. Many things I didn’t even ask permission for because I assumed I wouldn’t get the answer I wanted. This resulted in a very limiting and restricted childhood.
It all becomes glaringly apparent once you move out, and I think I would continue to be unaware of how sheltered I was if I had not chosen to go away for college. In fact, one of the reasons I decided to move away from college was to gain more freedom. There were things I wasn’t even aware of that I had missed out on, and if someone hadn’t pointed them out to me I would have never noticed.
One of the things I definitely was not able to experience was dating. It’s something I was definitely aware of, as most of my peers were definitely partaking in this, but it was one that did not make much sense to me; my parents were strict on dating but have always been pretty vocal on me getting married and having a family. Which, as one might surmise, is not something easily done when I was not allowed to date.
Sleepovers were definitely out of the question, which is why moving into dorms was especially exciting. How often I went out, how long I went out for, where I went out, and who I went out with was heavily supervised. My parents had to, not only, meet my friends, their parents, and their siblings, but approve of them. Most of the media I consumed like books, movies, and shows, was also overseen by my parents.
All this supervision definitely made me more cautious of people and hindered my ability to socialize. I didn’t really know how to make friends when I first arrived at college and my social battery still tends to run out rather quickly. All the newfound freedom was nice, but I didn’t always know what to do or how to properly react in certain situations. It was strange.
But I know that others who grew up similarly to I did end up on the other side of the spectrum. It turns out, other sheltered kids I’ve talked to become much more social. Some even became a little reckless. Needless to say, it was definitely an adjustment for all of us. More than anything, though, I think it makes us more likely to lie and keep secrets, especially from our parents.
There are still things that I tell myself I won’t be able to do until I’m completely independent from them, and it doesn’t exactly seem very healthy. I understand why my parents raised me the way they did, but I don’t think they realize the consequences it’s had on me. Ultimately, it came from a place of love. Knowing that I’m not the only one has definitely helped, and so has my time away from home. The experiences I went through, though sometimes uncomfortable, have taught me a lot. I have seen myself grow in many ways, and I have no doubt that I will continue to do so, and I can’t wait to see the kind of person I’ll be on the other end of this journey.