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The Stages of Falling for Someone in Your Friend Group

Falling for someone can be fun and exciting. It’s the smallest of moments with them that can give you butterflies or make you blush. Around UCSB it isn’t hard to find a crush or maybe five, but it’s a total game changer when you realize you’re falling for someone within your own friend group…


Stage 1: You realize how attractive they are.

Maybe you always kind of recognized this, but all of a sudden you can’t stop staring. Has their jawline always been so defined? Why have I never realized how well dressed they are?

Stage 2: You will try to get your friend group to hang out more often.

It’s not enough to only see them at parties on the weekend or during your intramural games. You might even find yourself having your roommate text his or her roommate to see what everyone is up to.

Stage 3: It’s time to make a move.

This part is the riskiest. If it goes well, then all of a sudden your friendship takes a whole new level. If it goes badly, your friend group dynamic could be altered permanently. However, if you do find yourself wanting more than to just be friends, you’re going to have to talk about it even if it’s awkward.

Stage 4: Your friends start to find out

Maybe they see you two making out at a party or maybe bae comes over to hang out just one on one. Regardless, just because you share mutual friends doesn’t mean you need to tell everyone every single detail of your budding romance. If this goes somewhere, they’ll find out and if it doesn’t hopefully you can all go back to just being friends.

Stage 5: You become “exclusive” or you “break things off”

Whatever happens stay true to who you are and don’t worry too much about how this affects your friend group. Awesome relationships can come out of friendships, but some relationships aren’t meant to last forever even as friendships. Enjoy the fling while it lasts, but don’t doubt yourself if it isn’t meant to be. 

Hey I'm Sydney. 4th year Global Studies Major with a Minor in French. I love human rights, playing lacrosse and eating burritos.
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