Dear BFF,
I’ve been contemplating this for days now, trying to decide where would be an appropriate place to begin. Distance is such a peculiar thing, isn’t it? I find it funny how you can be in the same room as a million other people and never have felt so alone. But at the same time, you can be trapped in a dungeon completely by yourself (although I’m not quite sure under what circumstances this dungeon thing would happen) and think of that one person and never have felt so loved, so connected. And how amazing is that – having that one person you can think of and you just know they’ll always be there for you? No matter how much time has passed since you last said two words to each other. No matter how many crazy, unpredictable things life has thrown at the two of you. They’re always there. And it’s never a question of “using” someone, because they know that you’re always there for them too. Not very many people have the privilege of having that one person. But I’m one of the lucky ones. For me, that person is you.
Do you remember getting ready for college applications in high school? Being so concerned over finding the perfect university that would fit both of our needs? It had to be far away enough from home, but not too far. It had to have enough of this, not too much of that. The thought of being apart from one another after years of inseperable friendship was too devastating to even consider. Everyone would sit in horror whenever returning alumni would respond to the question “how did you keep friendships after high school?” with “most of them won’t even matter after graduation.” Then afterwards we’d all laugh and snicker and say that they didn’t know what they were talking about (they did) and that it was never going to happen to any of us, not our class (it did). And when acceptance letters starting rolling in, suddenly it was no longer about us. It became about me. Because we each had our own set of necessities we needed to fulfill and goals we wanted to accomplish. There was nothing wrong with that. We could still be friends. But back then we didn’t know that. So amongst the all the excitement of making final choices and filling out SIRs, we would secretely vow not to let our friendship fade away, to always call, always text, always keep each other updated and talk every single day.
But that wasn’t the case. Turns out (shocker!) that college keeps you a lot busier than you would have imagined. So you take new classes, make new friends, try new things and screw up royaly here and there. And somewhere along the way, you find that you’re very slowly becoming the person you think you’re meant to be. You see yourself growing and changing and nervously await for the next phone call with your best friend. So much has happened over the past couple of months, what if they don’t like who you are anymore? What if you’ve run out of things to say? What if with all that’s changed inside of you… this friendship won’t work out anymore? All these questions and even more come rushing into your head all at once. I know, because I asked myself the same ones.
And then you make that phone call.
It turns out that as much as you’ve grown and changed, so has your best friend. They’ve made some new friends too, took a really awesome literature class, and went to their first frat party. And you know what? Despite all that’s changed you realize you’re both still the same people at your core. You both still love making lame Spongebob references and jamming out on occassion to the Jonas Brothers. You talk for hours and update each other on the latest events in your lives and recall the old ones with joy and a bit of nostalgia. And when you hang up, your heart is filled with warmth. Because although everything has changed, nothing has. And you know that when you really need it, you’ll always have that one person on the other end of the line.
Like I said, not everyone has privilege of having that person.
But I’m one of the lucky ones.