Ever notice that society (or, at least, society outside of Tumblr) keeps trying to push introverts to become extroverts lest they never get anywhere in life? I’m calling bs. If you’re an introvert, what you need isn’t to change a fundamental part of your personality, but a list of survival tricks to get you going. Here are a few.
Mapping It Out
If you’re an introvert, you probably like your quiet time. Period.
Am I right?
Print out a copy of your school’s map (UCSB’s map is right here, btw) and start exploring your school (and hopefully the surrounding areas, too!). As you do so, color your map in with highlighters, colored pencils, or whatever you feel like. If you find a super quiet place where you can relax and have some quiet time in nature, use your favorite color, and if a place is super crowded 24/7, blotch it out completely. Make sure you keep in mind the time of day!
Image from The Simpsons
Cheap Books
Look, not every introvert is a bibliophile, but chances are that you are—and even if you’re not, trust me, having a book handy at all times will be so useful if you find yourself in a crowded place and don’t want someone to talk to.
Anyway, if you want books, I absolutely recommend Thriftbooks—you can get a ton of books second-hand for all sorts of conditions in all different formats for super cheap. Like, you can get 4 books for $12, and shipping’s free for orders over $10. It’s awesome. I get all my books there now.
Image from Disney
Compliments to Complement
Am I going a little overboard with the wordplay here? Probably. But look, if you’re ever in a conversation and you think it’s going well, throw in some compliments into the mix. It will make the conversation that much enjoyable for the other person, and you’ll appear 10 times more personable for half the energy! (More or less.)
Image from Mean Girls
The Nope Button
And when you’re having a conversation that’s not going so well and you just can’t wait to be done with it, make sure you have your computer on and the Nope button installed. It’s amazing. All you do is click on the most inconspicuous button ever, and your phone gets a call. You pick it up, pretending it’s important, and follow the automated instructions to shoo away the pesky people.
Spoilers, you have to endure a sales pitch at the end of the call or else it’ll seem like you hung up too soon, but for the most part it’s worth it.
Image from BoJack Horseman
Delay Your Emails
While we’re adding extensions to our computers, I totally recommend Boomerang if you’re a Gmail user. They have a few features, including the ability to make messages disappear from your inbox until the time you schedule for them to return, but my favorite feature is that you can schedule emails in advance.
Now, admittedly, this is more of a social anxiety thing than an introvert thing, but let’s be real: if you’re too nervous to send an email because what if you did something wrong, this tool is a lifesaver. Schedule an email to send in 2 or 3 minutes instead of immediately. That way, you get the ease of mind knowing that even when you click the button, you can still go back and make changes. Then, you just have to change tabs, procrastinate, and forget about the email until it sends on its own accord!
Image from The Simpsons
The Conversation Formula
When you’re meeting someone new and are not sure what to say, why drain your energy by doing all the work? Here’s what you do.
- Person 1 says a greeting.
- You reply back, asking about something you notice about them (if their shirt is a pop culture reference, for example, or if they’re proudly displaying a tattoo).
- Person 1 talks about it.
- Before they can ask you anything, pick a word or place or person they mentioned and ask them to elaborate.
- Person 1 does the talking again.
- Before they can ask you anything, pick something from their explanation and ask for the story behind it.
- Person 1 does the talking again.
- Return to 2, 4, or 6, and repeat.
It’s not a perfect formula, and you’re welcome to tweak it as you see fit. But still, it’s a pretty good technique: you get the other person to do the work and all you have to do is listen. Then bam. Conversation made.
Image from The Office
It’s All About The Shoulders
Body language is pretty key no matter what the social interaction is. But if you’re an introvert and you’re facing Issues™, there’s a strong chance that one of two scenarios is occurring.
- People are greeting you when you don’t want to.
This has happened to me a lot on the bus. For a posture that gives off the same message as a Do Not Disturb sign, hunch your shoulders forward and either fold your arms or stuff them in your pockets. You’ll seem less open, and fewer people will approach you.
- When it’s time to make a good first impression, you don’t know how to seem engaged.
Yeah, this one sucks. But if you’re meeting someone new or going to a job interview or whatever, try setting your shoulders back and up. Maybe even rest your hands at your hips if you want to look extra confident.
Image from Buzzfeed’s Ladylike