How To Deal with Being a Third Wheel

So your best friend gets a boyfriend. Everything is fine and dandy at first, and you are so happy for her. But then, all of a sudden your lunch date with her has ended up being a lunch date with her and her new boyfriend. Your “girl’s day” has become not just girls anymore. Sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. It seems almost impossible to go through life without being a third wheel at some point. And it sucks, but it doesn’t have to. Here are the best things to do if you find yourself as the third wheel.

The best thing that you can do if you find yourself in this situation is to embrace it, rather than throw yourself a pity party. If you groan about how much of a terrible time you’re having, chances are you will have a terrible time, but instead if you accept the fact that you are currently the third wheel you will have a much easier time. Being a third wheel is not a negative thing unless you turn it into one.

The second thing that is very important to do is to talk! Don’t sulk in the corner because you are the third wheel. If you were asked to hang out with them that means that they want you to be there (unless of course it’s a pity invite, but we will discuss that later). It makes things way less awkward when you have open communication and can have a conversation with each other. Eventually the awkwardness will dissipate and you will be having a normal conversation with your friends without feeling left out as the third wheel.

It also is very helpful to actually make an effort to get to know your friend’s significant other. You will have a much better time if you are able to become friends with him or her. If you don’t, it will just be a weird evening of you versus them in trying to capture your friend’s attention, and no one wants that.

Now back to the pity invite. If you get a pity invite from a “friend," don’t go. Your “friend” shouldn’t pity you just because she has a boyfriend and you don’t. There is nothing wrong with that, so don’t feel the need to go. It’s important to set up good communication with your friend to let her know that you are okay with not hanging out as often as you used to, and that you would prefer to hang out with just her instead of being asked along just out of pity. But, you also should accept the fact that she can’t spend all her time with just you. Be okay with the fact that your friend is now splitting time between two very important people in her life. Once you clear the air, the relationship will become much easier for all three of you involved

This also means to know when to say no to regular invites. If they ask you to the movies, just know that there is a 100 percent chance there will be making out involved. Stay away from events considered to be more intimate. It may take a while to figure out which events are intimate or not, but don’t get discouraged if you find yourself struggling as the third wheel. Eventually things will regulate and you will know when to join in and when to sit back.

Lastly, have fun. If you are the third wheel you might as well make some fun out of it. The day won’t last forever and it will go much faster if you enjoy it. Be happy for your friend and show her that by not being bitter the whole time you’re hanging out. Choose not to dwell on the situation, and next time you’ll know whether or not you will hang out with that couple again.

Being the third wheel is definitely a learning experience, but now you have the tools to survive the next time you find yourself as the third wheel!