If you’re anything like me, your middle school Christmases were dominated by the showing of Hallmark Christmas romantic comedies. My sisters and I would wait in anticipation for the end of the school day when we would rush home to our couch and watch a new Hallmark movie. The movies, different each day (but also the same), were the primary ways my 13-year-old self got into the Christmas spirit.
The structure of every Hallmark Christmas rom-com is the same, without fail, rain or shine, through hell or high water. A conflict is always introduced at approximately an hour and thirty-five minutes in, and the starring couple seals the ending with a kiss at about an hour and fifty-eight. The plots vary in their details, but the overall formula goes a little something like this:
- The unlucky-in-love Big-City Girl with big dreams is feeling stuck (on an ex, a job, a boss, you name it).
- Big-City Girl (BCG) becomes a small-town girl when a situation forces her to return to the quaint little town she is vaguely connected to.
- Enter Love Interest: a man she is (again) vaguely connected to in some way shape or form, whether it be her ex-boyfriend, her best friend’s brother, her brother’s best friend, or her veterinarian, you get the gist.
- Oh no! A conflict arises. Maybe a snowstorm, a canceled flight, or a missing passport, either way, Big-City Girl is stranded in Small Town, USA. Whatever will she do?!
- Suddenly, Big-City Girl and Love Interest have immense amounts of chemistry! They are falling for each other, slowly (over the course of a week) but surely. BCG’s cold, loveless heart is thawing.
- Just as Love Interest and Big-City Girl are going to have their first, long-awaited kiss, the awkward side character walks in! The I in KISS stands for interruption.
- Before BCG and Love Interest can talk about their almost-kiss, there is a big fat miscommunication. Love Interest has been lying to her? BCG’s company is trying to put the family lodge out of business?
- The prodigal Love Interest returns! Can he catch BCG before she leaves the small town forever? Of course he can! They both apologize and explain everything, including how they can save the local business.
- Love Interest finally declares that despite all (none) of the odds being against them, he is in love with Big City Girl. He is so glad she ended up in his lodge/bakery/tavern that fateful day.
- Love Interest and Big City Girl save the small business and live happily ever after in the Small town forever and ever.
The Hallmark Channel is extremely profitable in the Christmas season. They produce about 40 movies per year, each costing only $2 million dollars to produce and two weeks to make. Hallmark has averaged about 80 million viewers in the fall and winter months in the last few years, bringing in over $390 million in ad revenue, not to mention other forms of revenue including streaming and licensing. Hallmark’s success is unparalleled when it comes to Christmas movies, but how can a network get away with producing the same movie over and over again?
The answer is actually quite simple– people like the Hallmark movies for their predictability. Hallmark movies are reliable, and the comfort of knowing exactly what is going to happen is what makes them popular.
Hallmark movies have other qualities that make them great. They’re unbelievably corny, but they embrace it in a way that makes it bearable (and even likable). The actors, though cheesy in their own right, generally do a good job and the family dog is always cute. Though the plot is continually reused, it always ends up pretty charming.
The Hallmark channel might get some backlash for producing almost identical movies, but their financial success and cultural relevance are clear markers of their success. Corporate cozy works for the Hallmark channel, even if it shouldn’t. So when you’re searching for a cute Christmas rom-com this holiday season, give a Hallmark movie a try. You might just discover the true meaning of Christmas!
Isn’t that a happy ending?