When we think of the word “dating,” certain images come to mind: enjoying romantic dinners, feeling butterflies in our stomachs, and kissing potential romantic partners after long nights spent together. But dating is not exclusive to people in search of a significant other. In fact, the term “friendship dating” has recently been coined as a way to describe spending one-on-one quality time with a prospective friend.
Going on friendship dates might seem like a silly concept at first, but it is extremely important in cultivating valuable relationships with others. Making and maintaining friendships requires effort, and one of the best ways to put effort into a friendship is to find times and places to meet, talk, and participate in activities with each other.
Friendship dating is especially key in post-pandemic times. One study conducted by the American Survey Center found that young women aged 18-29 were the most likely to report losing touch with friends over the course of the Covid-19 pandemic. The study also found that the average person in 2022 had fewer close friends than the average person did three decades ago. Making more friends is almost always a good thing, but it is particularly important for members of our generation.
Meeting and connecting with people can be difficult, especially for introverts, but luckily, UCSB has plenty of outlets for doing so. For example, you could join a club or organization where you may find people with whom you have things in common. This could be a club for a sport or hobby, for people of certain religious or ethnic backgrounds, etc. UCSB students can visit Shoreline for a list of organizations and events at UCSB. Also, you could utilize mutual friends—ask one of your current friends if you could be introduced to people in their circle. By doing so, you might meet people with whom you really connect with.
Planning friendship dates is fairly simple from there; in fact, it’s almost identical to the process of asking someone out on a romantic date. First, find some sort of common ground, such as a shared interest or hobby. After initially meeting the potential friend, follow up with them about said interest or hobby. You can send them a post or article about it, or to be more straightforward, you could buy tickets to an event involving that shared interest. If they agree to meet you, you have yourself a date!
Obviously, the friendship date you plan will depend on each of your personalities and interests, but the area around UCSB has plenty of date ideas to offer. One of the most popular places for both couples and friends to meet is the beach. Go for a swim, have a beach picnic, or plan an Instagram photo shoot. For another low-maintenance friendship date, you could go to the UCSB Recreation Center to play a pick-up sport game or work out together.
If you are able and willing to plan something outside of Isla Vista, there are plenty of activities for friendship dates in Goleta and Santa Barbara. You could check out Ice in Paradise, the ice skating rink in Goleta that stays open all year round. If you’re an animal lover, you can visit the Santa Barbara Zoo. If you enjoy art, pay a visit to the Santa Barbara Museum of Art — entry is free if you bring your student ID card!
These are just a few of the ideas for friendship dates, but the possibilities are truly endless and worth exploring. Going on friendship dates can be an important part of your college experience, and if the dates go well, you could make friends for life.