We have all been there. You like someone, you make eye contact with them from across the room. They’re looking at you and you’re looking at them, and you’re thinking hell yeah, it’s about to go down with the cutie the blue shirt, rom-com style. And then your friend taps your arm and says “oh my god, the guy in the blue shirt is so hot and keeps looking at me!”
Well… that sucks. So what do you do now? What does the 2018 girl code say to do? We all want to avoid that tension among our girl friends, but sometimes we don’t know what those unspoken rules are exactly. Let’s look into a couple scenarios and see how we would handle them today.
1. You matched with the same person on Tinder.
Oh okay, this one is no biggie. Odds are that this guy is not the love of your life, nor for your best friend either. So it would be acceptable for both of you to message him because honestly, both of you probably won’t like him for very long anyway. It will probably end with something like him saying he loves to read and you’re like “ew books," while your best friend is down to cuddle and dive into some Shakespeare with him. If it gets to the point where you are going to pursue something with this person, I would check in with your friend first. Maybe he is just another swipe for her, but a potential partner for you. It never hurts to ask. It is usually better to communicate than to be stepping on each other's toes.
2. You are into the guy that your friend casually dated.
This is where it gets a little messier. I would evaluate two things first: your relationship with your friend, and your relationship with the guy. If he is just a little crush that you think is cute, it’s probably not worth risking your friendship for. But, if he gives you butterflies and the “oh no I think I like him” feeling at the bottom of your stomach, he could be worth pursuing. And as for your friend, sometimes you have to be aware that even if she says “it’s totally cool,” it just might not be the right time. This guy could come between you and your friend--time to weigh the pros and cons.
3. You are into the guy that your friend seriously dated.
Okay, this is a tricky one, but girls should really try to avoid this situation at all costs. Even if she was the one who broke up with him, even if it was weeks ago, even if she seems fine, it is probably not even worth it to test. No matter what happened between them, often those serious relationships leave some kind of mark on a person that are not easily overlooked. So I would suggest to look the other way. And, if you feel like you have to, just be prepared to give up your friend.
4. You think your friend’s boyfriend hit on you.
Okay, so here is what I would do: I would probably mention it to another friend in the group and see if they noticed it, or if it was just his personality… some people are just flirty, right? If someone else sees it too, or agrees with you that the behavior was over the line, then it would be proper girl code to tell your friend. She deserves to know the truth. The sooner, the better!
Although girl code has hundreds of unspoken, varying rules, it all pretty much comes down to the overall respect of your girlfriends. To save them from that creepy guy hitting on them at a party or to know not to date the boys that broke their heart. And always, love and support them! That's what friends are for right?
All images via giphy.com