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Are You Surrounding Yourself with the Right People?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSB chapter.

As young adults we’re all trying to figure out our place in the world. As a student its so easy to assume that this is when we start deciding our futures, but we are always constantly learning. We’re learning about who we are, what fields we want to go in, what type of partners we want or if we even want a partner at all, and possibly one of the most crucial, who we are going to surround ourselves with.

I’ve seen so many people waste time surrounded by the wrong types of people. They didn’t even notice until they started to branch out and meet others that they truly felt connections with. In high school, it’s easy to surround yourself with a multitude of individuals and not notice whether those people are good for you or not. Even though high school is a time where we are all figuring ourselves out, it isn’t until we get to college that we are forced to truly focus on ourselves and notice how others truly effect us.

The wrong people can distract you from getting to where YOU need to go. They can distract you from fully figuring out what YOU need. It sounds super cliche but it makes sense. If you’re surrounding yourself with people who aren’t supportive and aren’t truly interested in your self growth, you’ll only live up to what they make you think you’re capable of.

Surrounding yourself with people who push you and want the best for you is a necessity. If you feel like someone is weighing you down and holding you back from being the best you, they might not be the right person to hang around all the time. Many people tend to follow the crowd they are apart of, but if your crowd isn’t going anywhere you want to, then what’re you going to do about it?

Consider this…!

Surround yourself with individuals who not only support you and make it obvious that they care about you, but are also trying to be successful themselves. Now this doesn’t mean that you have to find people who are interested in pursuing the same things you are. Although that could be helpful, the main thing to take out of this is to surround yourself with people who are motivated to pursue a greater goal. 

Associating oneself with the right people could mean different things to different individuals. If you’re looking for success career-wise, then pursuing friendships with others who have similar career goals or just their own career goals in general might be beneficial for you. If you are looking for friendships that are deeper and less superficial, pursuing individuals who have similar morals or interests might be the way to go too. It is also important to stay wary of who sticks around when the going gets tough. Life likes to throw obstacles in our path and having the right crew behind you can make all those hardships much easier to deal with and overcome. This isn’t an article telling you to drop your friend who ditched you for the third time this week for her boyfriend or told your other friends something you told her to keep a secret and didn’t even acknowledge that you got the internship of your dreams. But if you feel undervalued and the shoe fits…

Image via Giphy

No, I’m just kidding. This is mainly a testament to making sure you all realize your self worth. Being surrounded by people who do not express their gratitude for your presence in their lives can result in a feeling of unworthiness. Never let anyone who should be in your life voluntarily let you feel that you are not worth it. They should be showing you that they are happy to have you in their life, not that you’re a burden. Especially when the going gets tough, the right people in your life could help make things better. It’s important to be aware that you can ask for help from others and not have to worry about them taking advantage or talking about it to others. You can only perform so well if you don’t feel confident. The right people can help raise your confidence and validate the confidence you may already have. 

Overall, keep in mind that your group of friends does not dictate who you will become, but can definitely have an effect. You are strong, beautiful and intelligent and do not deserve to feel anything less than wonderful and appreciated. 

 

Shante Boudaghi is a fourth year Religious Studies and Sociology double major at UCSB who is also pursuing a certificate in Business Communication and Law! When she's not dancing with her collegiate hip hop team, you can catch her teaching kids about the history and fundamentals of Hip Hop culture and dance at different elementary schools in the Santa Barbara area.
Adar Levy

UCSB '19

Adar is a fourth-year student at UC Santa Barbara, studying Sociology. She is an avid creative writer, podcast listener, music enthusiast, and foodie. Loving everything from fashion and lifestyle to women's empowerment, she hopes to work for a major women's publication one day. See what Adar is up to on Instagram @adarbear.